5 Awesome Things from Nashville: Rayna Terror 2

Nashville (Screen: ABC)

Rayna comes home from Dallas to find her first born has run away from home. Apparently Maddie was so freaked out by Deacon’s rage fit at the shady night club that she had to book. She texts Rayna to say she’s safe, but doesn’t divulge her specific location. Naturally, they assume she’s shacking up at Cash’s house, which becomes the scene of much family drama.

Avery is ambivalent about accepting Layla’s invitation to be her bandleader on Luke’s tour, because he doesn’t want to deprive Juliette of any Cadence time. But when he and Jules share a moment of romantic tension, he decides on the fly to take the offer. He tells Jules she can visit Cadence on the road and she tries being cool about it, for a minute.

The Exes’ first single drops and immediately gets 6,000 downloads. Gunnar wants to take Scarlett out for a celebration lunch, but she’s already scheduled to hang with Autumn (who is, unbeknownst to Blondie, actively pursuing Gunnar’s sex parts).

With Riff suddenly M.I.A., Luke must consider either replacing his tour opener or canceling their Nashville gig, if not the entire tour. When a dejected Layla tells Avery their first gig may be nixed (aw man, Glenn was gonna have a crew film her performance and everything!), he suggests they film their sound check and make it the best music video ever. And then Juliette happens to wander by…

Now that he knows Kevin has moved on, Will is interested in dating again but can’t deal with hookup-centric online sites. Then he spots a hot nerd at the recording studio who might be gay?

You’ll find the answer here, in these five awesome things from last week’s Nashville

Will’s new jam Unlike those season 1 days, I don’t even pretend to be into Nashville for the music anymore. But I honestly loved Will’s bluesy number, “Moving on Never Felt So Good” which was so awesomely 70s (think Steely Dan, or an Eagles song that doesn’t suck). More like that, please! And I was so happy for Mr. Lexington to be making eyes with hot nerd backup singer Bryan,1 during the recording. Alas, Will’s excitement upon overhearing that Bryan has “broken up” with someone named “Riley”2, is crushed when he learns Riley was a bandmate and Bryan isn’t gay. Sad trombone! Instead of wasting time on that silly story, they should have made that song a couple minutes longer.

Heidi is a cool, chill chick Luke’s dream of replacing Riff for just the Nashville concert3 and continuing with the tour as planned is obliterated once Heidi learns Riff is laid up in a New Orleans hospital. Luke flies Heidi down to NOLA, only to learn their boy Riff is in a baaaad way – a concerned hooker dropped him off after he suffered a drug-related stroke. Oof. Through all this, Heidi is 0% surprised. Apparently Riff was always like this on tour, which was why she made him retire all those years ago. She thought he’d be okay this time, but he bolted immediately after the Beverly show and had been on a bender ever since.

Of course, Luke blames himself for Riff’s downfall but Heidi’s like, “Eh…” She knows Riff’s addictions were his own undoing and Luke only saw the good in him. “The way you looked at our family, you saw perfection. But it wasn’t. Nothing ever is.” And then she sends him away with a hug and good wishes. Wow, what a mensch! She should give Juliette some life advice (more about that later).

Autumn is the soap opera villain we’ve been waiting for Since Jeff died, we’ve been missing that mostly-evil character who thrives on making hell for others. Enter Autumn. When she isn’t blowing smoke up Gunnar’s ass about his James Taylor-ish style and inviting him to a private adventure at her New York home,4 she’s tricking Scarlett into admitting she and Gunnar still have lots of feelings for each other. Autumn advises Blondie to keep her musical partnership professional, especially on tour, because 1) she’s actually trying to sex Gunnar herself5 and 2) she seems to get off on messing with Scarlett’s mind. Perhaps because Autumn is her idol, Scarlett is oddly oblivious to these machinations and even says during their girls-day-at-the-spa “I feel like I’m really gonna learn a lot from you.” Haha, yes. A big ol’ lesson on sociopathy!

Juliette needs to call her shrink, stat She’s so good about Avery leaving town at first, even offering to send St. Emily6 along to assist him. But when she drops by the concert venue to meet with Luke and sees Layla and Avery’s high-chemistry sound check, “old Juliette” takes over. We next see Jules at home – throwing things, pumping Emily for info, pressuring her to spy on Avery, etc. What happens next is very predictable, especially once Riff is sidelined – Juliette finally gets her meeting with Luke and signs on as his tour opener (again). And while she probably doesn’t care that Layla hates this,7 she seems pretty oblivious to the fact that Avery does, too. Oh, Juliette. Sigh. But yay, more tour drama!

Rayna Terror 2: Broke Ass Cash Strikes Back All things considered, Rayna isn’t that mad at Maddie; she correctly senses right away that Deacon’s over-the-top angry reaction at the club is what scared her away. But once Deacon clues her into Cash’s negative influence, Mama Bear is soon stomping up her front stoop, looking for her daughter. Not only does Cash pretend Maddie isn’t there (lie), she talks about aggro Deacon like he’s the real culprit. “I’m surprised nobody called the cops on him,” Cash snidely remarks. Rayna shouts back, “I’m surprised nobody called the cops on you!” And when Cash shoves her dumb phone in her face, to show video footage of Deacon flipping out,8 Rayna slaps her hand away. “I don’t need to defend my husband to you.” YES!

Ah, but this battle is only getting started. When Cash learns Rayna prevented Maddie from signing with Sony, she does some digging. She finds out the bigwigs not only meant to offer Maddie the Best Deal Ever, they’re still interested. The one way Maddie can sign without Rayna’s permission is if she becomes legally emancipated. Bratty Maddie informs her parents of this plan while they’re standing on Cash’s porch, right before she slams the door in their faces. And as only a former teen runaway Mama Bear would, Rayna cowers and sobs hysterically. Hang in there Queen Ray! You always win in the end and seeing you trounce Cash will be so satisfying.

  1. a.k.a, tall, dark and bespectacled  
  2. Which, as Avery notes, can totally be a girl’s name – especially in the south, I might add  
  3. which he does with real life country music star Thomas Rhett  
  4. Later he politely rejects the offer, but then Scarlett sees him exiting Autumn’s hotel room late that night, so…  
  5. But she talks to him like he’s a little boy, which makes it seem like she’s flirting with a 6 year old – ew.  
  6. Until this character does one single selfish thing, she will henceforth be known as such  
  7. BTW doesn’t she feel like she owes Layla some sort of apology for being HORRIBLE to her after Jeff died? Especially cuz he died saving her??  
  8. Like she hasn’t seen that a bazillion times before  

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Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles
Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv
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