5 Awesome Things From Nashville: Bizarre Love Triangle

Nashville (Screen: ABC)

After learning Vita may have stolen $500 from The Beverly, Deacon and Rayna wonder if she’ll show up for her next shift or her Highway 65 audition. When she appears at the latter, Rayna asks Vita point blank if she stole the money. She flatly denies it. Deacon thinks this is reason enough to let her come back to work, but business partner Frankie disagrees. Deacon further entrenches himself on Frankie’s shit list by spontaneously inviting Riff Bell to do his first public performance in 15 years at The Beverly… on an evening when Frankie was supposed to perform.

Speaking of Riff, every one of Luke’s concert dates have sold out now that he’s joined the tour. Too bad he hasn’t picked up a guitar in 15 years and suuuuucks. Worse than that, he screams at Luke’s band for trying to steer him right during rehearsal and storms out.

Though Rayna and Bucky are thrilled with the Exes’ album, Scarlett still finds a reason to mope when they decide to release one of her songs (i.e. not Gunnar’s) as the first single. Wait, WHY are you unhappy about this, Scarlett? We’ll get to that later… Will deals with his own industry drama when a gay-centric label out of Atlanta courts him, but only because he’s gay.1 For a second, he thinks this might be his last chance, until a CD-slinging barista clues him into the possibility of self-publishing. Go, indi Will!

Layla’s jealous when Avery hooks up with a hot mom he met at the playground. But that love triangle’s nothing compared to what’s going on with Maddie, Colt and Cash. Squee!! More about that and these other awesome things from last week’s Nashville

Deacon pushes Frankie off the wagon I know, that’s not how it works. Deacon isn’t responsible for Frankie’s sobriety, but for real, Mr. Claybourne is a terrible business partner. Let’s start with Vita. Deacon’s an idiot for letting her return to work, especially because hiring and firing is Frankie’s job. And then, BOING! Turns out she did steal the money. Deacon apologizes to Frankie, but he’s still so smug about booking Riff. I wish his crappy guitar playing would’ve tanked the show so Deacon could be humbled. But Riff’s smart enough to let Luke’s band take charge in the end and they make him look good. The show’s a hit and Deacon gets to preen onstage with his old buddy Riff, taking all the credit for this sweet new venue. Frankie gets so fed up with his partner’s self-centered bullshit, he hightails it to a storage room and chugs a liquor bottle. Deacon, how can you be so sensitive yet so stupid about other people’s feelings??

Rayna is the anti-Deacon Rayna, on the other hand, knows exactly how to approach Vita – no small feat considering their vastly different backgrounds. Before Vita is exposed as a thief, she tells Rayna the unhappy story of her foster system origins, adding that she doesn’t need anyone to feel sorry for her. Rayna replies, “Honey, you’re a survivor and you’ve made beautiful music out of a really unfortunate circumstance. Isn’t that amazing?” No, YOU’RE amazing, Rayna. Please be my guru.

But then Vita admits she stole the money. When Rayna demands an explanation, she claims it was emergency money to keep her sister safe from “bad guys”. Rayna doesn’t buy this, but later returns to the car where Vita lives so she can help her get into a shelter. What a mensch, right? Cliffhanger! Rayna finds cops swarming around the trashed car and no sign of Vita. Does this mean we’ll get to see Ms. Jaymes beat up bad guys? It could happen. I think her ginger mane has magical powers.

Gunnar and Scarlett pull a Lennon/McCartney I was rolling my eyes at this story, especially because Gunnar has to reassure Blondie twice that he’s secure enough to let one of her songs be the first single. But when you think about the money part of it, Scarlett’s reservations are more admirable. She’ll be the only one collecting royalty checks from their first release. And as she reminds Gunnar, she’d never be in this business if he hadn’t dragged her onstage at the Bluebird. So they tell their manager every one of their songs will be officially cowritten by Scott and O’Connor, meaning all royalties will be divided 50/50. And that’s pretty hot. I didn’t think their boring “will they or won’t they?” could feel that way again.

Glen shrinks Layla’s head After hearing about Avery and Hot Mom’s hot date, Layla turns super bitchy during a Highway 65 photo shoot. Manager Glen pulls her aside, calmly states he’s officially done with divas since he got canned by Juliette and asks her to tell him what’s really bothering her. She spills the beans about Avery’s new romance. Glen reminds her that Jeff’s tragic death has left a void in her life and she’s trying to fill that space with Avery, “but the only answer to the void is time.” Aw, Glen, you sweet, toupeed bastard! I’m so glad you’re back. Layla’s appreciates the advice, too, and wisely asks him to kick her if she ever behaves like Jules again.2

Supposed grown-up Cash cock blocks a teenage boy Looks like Cash wants in on the ground floor of Maddie’s inevitable stardom because she’s appointed herself BFF and ain’t letting anyone get in the way. Colt surprise visits Maddie at school with an apology bouquet.3 Cash shows up, too, and she’s visibly pissed that he’s there. Maddie asks if they can add Colt to the guest list for Cash’s next Bluebird gig, and she grudgingly agrees. When they all meet there for dinner, Colt makes snide remarks about the music industry — because, duh, he’s talking about estranged dad Luke — and Cash responds with crazy “taking it personally” faces. Woo boy, we got a real piece of work here!

Onstage, Cash introduces her new songwriting buddy’s latest jam,4 and breaks into a saucy number called, “Don’t Kiss Me If You Don’t Mean Business.” Of course, this is Maddie’s song and it’s all about the one time she boned Colt. What a power move! Colt squirms while Maddie beams, completely oblivious to the discomfort her BFF is inflicting on her BF.

When the lovebirds finally get some alone time, Cash texts Maddie incessantly. Colt complains, he and Maddie fight, and then she dumps him!5 And who’s there to take sobbing Maddie home? Cash. It won’t be long before Rayna gets wise to Cash’s inappropriate behavior, especially because now Daphne’s complaining about being sidelined. Will that be before or after mom realizes Maddie is a virgin no more?

  1. The hipster exec isn’t really into country music. OH, NO KIDDING  
  2. Also, Avery alienates Hot Mom with too much Jules talk, so he’s back on the market.  
  3. WAY more than she deserves  
  4. Cleverly not mentioning Maddie by name – sooo conniving  
  5. In the midst of his break up blues, he decides to join the Army, which will definitely benefit his dad’s brand. Irony!  

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Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles
Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv
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