The Bachelor Rules of the Rose: Hot for Teacher

It's a bit of the bubbly in what looks like the Walgreens pharmacy counter on this week's episode of The Bachelor. (Photo: ABC)
The Bachelor (Photo: ABC)

Week 2 of The Bachelor and the women are already hot for teacher.

This week on The Bachelor, the women find themselves put through a series of tests that take them in and out of school – with many of them already hot for teacher, errr, Ben.

In the first first group date the bachelorette are sent back to school in a series of challenges based on typical classroom subjects – science, geography, lunch, gym to see which will become ‘Homecoming Queen.’  Highlights include making ‘Ben’s volcano’ explode, bobbing for apples (where as one bachelorette tells us, Jackie is not good with her mouth), and while no one knows exactly where Indiana, but one team thinks it’s horizontal and, well, Pennsylvania.

As an after school activity, Ben takes the entire group for drinks on a rooftop, because that never happens on The Bachelor, where it’s survival of the most annoying.  Who can interrupt who’s alone time with Ben, how fast and how often.

Next up, a ‘Ride Along’ one-on-one date with The Bachelor and celebrity guests Kevin Hart and Ice Cube.  It goes as well as a sponsored date can go.  Of course Kevin Hart steals all of the funny in the room and oh, we’re actually watching a dating show.  That evening, the two, Ben and Caila, continue alone on a date that’s more about them, with dinner and ok, another celebrity guest as musician Amos Lee serenades the two.  Caila seems incredibly excited about their private Amos Lee concert, but what if she had no idea who he is, I certainly didn’t.  Did you?

Finally, the second group date takes another group of women to the ‘Love Lab’ where they’re put to the, scientific, test in figuring out Ben’s perfect match.  In addition to sight, smell and thermal energy tests we learn the twin Bachelorettes are admittedly ‘not that smart.’    I’m not sure we needed a test for that, but the tests did reveal that Olivia might be the most scientifically perfect for Ben.  After winning the First Impression rose, she may just be the woman to beat.

And now, the rules:
DO: be ‘sporty’ or at least know how to fake it.  Oh, is it a sit down on a rooftop with wine and cheese? Let’s go play basketball at the random court ALSO on the roof top. This is all, of course, after the school days challenge was decided by a sprint to Ben.  And, after hiking up her pants and going barefoot, Mandi easily blows by the competition.

DO NOT: Olivia, think the First Impression rose entitles you to anything beyond the first rose ceremony.  It’s a FIRST impression rose for a reason.

DO: Overcome something and make sure it’s something significant.  Jubilee is winning on this front.  Not only does she have the military going for her, but also spent the first few years of her life in an orphanage in Haiti.  Ben is more than impressed with her ability to overcome and is more than able to seal it with a kiss.

DO NOT: Count your chickens.  Lace spends the entire episode worried about spending enough time with Ben and wondering if he likes her or if she showed too much of her crazy on the first night to come back from it.  She then sees how it all works out in the end and she’s offered another rose and gladly accepts.  However…

DO NOT: Accept a rose…if you’re not feeling it.  Lauren ‘LB’ pulls Ben aside when she is offered a rose at the Rose Ceremony after telling us she doesn’t know if she’s into him and doesn’t really know him.  She explains to Ben that she’s just not feeling it and isn’t comfortable being there.  I wonder how many other women have felt that way?

Perhaps we’ll have another brazen bachelorette next week who’s just not that into him.

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    Sandra Smith is a graduate of Northwestern and Syracuse Universities where she wrote and studied and wrote. She currently earns her keep working on a variety of your favorite reality shows for HGTV, TLC, Discovery Channel, MTV and FUSE and dreaming of creating the next Law & Order. E-mail:
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