The Walking Dead’s midseason finale makes us all slap our foreheads. Again.
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
The fence comes down in Alexandria, and all heck breaks loose, sort of. Somehow the houses all hold up for a while as everyone hunkers down and formulates a plan. Rick and his gang make literal Walker Guts Invisibility Cloaks and head outside for the armory, but Sam makes a nuisance of himself. Deanna was bitten, so she goes down shooting. Meanwhile, Carol and Morgan fight over letting Denise help the Wolf, which ends in the Wolf taking Denise hostage and leaving. I wonder how far he’ll get, since there’s a herd running around, but oh well. Midseason finale, we’ll be back in February!
Apparently every woman in Alexandria is clumsy as hell, all of a sudden. Several of them trip, which you would think wouldn’t happen often. Clumsy people have basically been weeded out by now.
Wow, Father Gabriel (in a “blink and you’ll miss it” moment) finally killed a walker! I guess the internet should stop calling him “Father Pee Pants.” (Naaaah.)
Deanna, it might not be a great idea to drag your *about to die* ass over to a baby’s crib to play with it. Just sayin’.
How the hell is Eugene gonna pick a deadbolt with a paper clip? Paper clips are far too malleable for that job.1
Maggie, if your life is in immediate danger and speed is your only chance to get away, go quickly. She climbs that ladder like she’s going to clean the gutters, not save her own (and Glenn’s bay-baaaaay’s!) life.
Deanna is giving Michonne a life-coaching session while walkers are flooding the town? Bitch, there is a time and a place!
The world is tired of Ron’s stupid-ass angst. Thankfully we have Carl Grimes, Unlikely Voice of Reason, to tell him “yeah, my dad killed your dad, but your dad was an ASSHOLE.” And all of a sudden, they’re friends again!
Their Walker Meat Ponchos (made of bedsheets) have hemmed necklines all of a sudden? How much do the producers of this show expect us to believe?
It’s getting a little tedious how big of a pussy Eugene is. “My God, he’s useless,” my husband was heard to remark.
Carol is usually a bit more stealth, but she must be concussed, because her fight with Morgan over saving the Wolf was ridiculous all around. Morgan wanting to save this guy is just bad writing, and Carol choosing that moment to fight him is quite out of character.
Why did Tara and Rosita give the Wolf their guns?! You idiots! You had a clear headshot! Denise is as good as dead, anyway.
Okay, so Sam is clearly a bit unhinged, but Lord almighty, this kid is such a KNOB. First of all, he will not turn off the creepy fucking music, despite silence being essential for survival. Second, his hair. I mean, really with this? His hairdresser mother should be ashamed. Third, “Mom! Mom!” Where is Carol when you need her to pop this kid across the face? My not-so-bold prediction: this kid will get at least two people killed, not including himself.
- Dude. Nice word usage! -Mooch ↵