Improbable? Index: The Walking Dead’s “Hostiles and Calamities”

Photo: AMC
Photo: AMC

The Walking Dead features the combo of Eugene and Negan. Thank GOD.

We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.

“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap

Eugene is being treated amazingly by the Saviors and Negan, who value his brains and his hair in equal measure. Also, Dwight goes looking for his (Negan’s?) wife, Sherry, and ZZZZZZ…sorry, folks, this shit was boring. Anyway, Dwight gets the doctor killed. Negan’s wives are sent to Eugene to entertain him, and they ask Eugene to make suicide pills for “one of them” to take, except they’re really for Negan, and Eugene knows it. The girls threaten to tell Negan about the pills and he is like “LOLZ TRY IT.” Eugene professes his loyalty to Negan, and we’ll see what he has up his sleeve…he did make those death pills, after all. Next week, the return of Richonne!

Mildly Improbable

I can’t help but be charmed by Negan. “Don’t be rude, asshole, say hello!” He is very impressed by Eugene’s smarts and offers him a bonus, to which Eugene replies shakily, “I was gifted these pickles.” GODDAMN, I wish EVERY episode were ENTIRELY about Negan and Eugene!

Negan’s wives thought Eugene wouldn’t figure out that the suicide pills were to kill Negan? Eugene is brilliant. Plus the wives’ hemming and hawing over the weight of the intended victim was obvious.

Pretty Improbable

So HOW long did it take the Saviors to figure out Daryl was missing? Maybe they should feed their captives more often, check on ‘em. (Wait, seriously, how long has it been? Because it feels like we’re flashing back to weeks ago, but who knows?)

Extremely Improbable

Eugene is sobbing upon being brought to the Saviors’ compound…until he is given a nicely appointed studio apartment and is told he can eat anything he wants. Except lobster, where do you think you are, Eugene?

YEAH, RIGHT

Eugene gets three hot Negan-wives sent to his room, and he’s making them watch him play video games like a 13-year-old. To the women’s credit, they just would love to have an intelligent conversation for once in their lives! And to know the recipe for bomb-making! Eugene, you just became the sexiest Savior of them all.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles

After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting “Whodunnit?” One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv

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