Improbable? Index: The Walking Dead’s “Hearts Still Beating”

Photo: AMC
Photo: AMC

The Walking Dead goes out at mid-season with a bang. Well, two bangs.

We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.

“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap

Lots going on this episode, but the long and short of it is that the following people are all planning to kill Negan: Rosita, Sasha/Enid, Kingdom Random Dude, probably Carol, Carl already, maybe Maggie, definitely Daryl, probably at least 10 of his hench(wo)men, and Rick and Michonne. Only Rosita actually gets off a shot this episode, after Negan has disemboweled Spencer (FINALLY), but it fails and Negan steals bullet-maker Eugene and has useless Olivia shot. Meanwhile, Daryl escapes, and there is much reuniting up at the Hillltop. Since this was the mid-season finale, we will have to wait until February to see other assassination attempts unfold. Until then!

Mildly Improbable

Aaron and Rick’s boat ride across Walker Pond still isn’t as terrifying as “It’s a Small World.”

Maggie is doing a very effective “season 1 Glenn” cosplay.

Pretty Improbable

Why doesn’t Olivia poison the lemonade? Do I have to think of everything?

Father Gabriel continues being the awesome Dr. Phil/Judge Judy/Oprah hybrid that this world needs so desperately. Damn, FG, you are the best.

Extremely Improbable

Daryl had time to eat an entire jar of peanut butter, but didn’t think to cut his hair so he wouldn’t be instantly recognizable while escaping? Do I have to think of EVERYTHING?

Spencer can’t even rack 8-ball correctly. What a puss.

YEAH, RIGHT

This episode is chalking up so many simultaneous assassination attempts, I’m wondering if it was written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. In fact, the whole premise of Negan even still being alive is the mystery of the Sphinx. How has he not been killed a billion times already?

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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