The Walking Dead does what it does best: violence. And cookies!
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
Rick forms a posse to take care of Negan’s group, the Saviors. They sneak into their compound and stab a bunch of them in the head before anyone wakes up. Eventually it turns into a badass shootout, and everyone watching is in heaven while the Saviors get sent to hell. In the morning, the entire group (they lost nobody, because they are totally tits, you guys) celebrates their victory with hugs ‘n such. But uh oh, there’s a straggler, and he’s got a radio, and on the radio is a woman who’s got Carol and Maggie. In other news from the episode, Carol has a love interest! And it’s not Daryl! Also, Abraham sends Rosita to Dumpsville, population: her. Next week, we see what the deal is with the Radio Lady.
The best place to have a meeting about slaughtering another group: the church! At least it gives Rick a chance to say, basically, “speak now or forever hold your peace.”
The actress who plays Tara is pregnant, and it has never been more obvious. Perhaps they are trying to convince us that falling in love with Denise has caused her to put on some Comfort Pounds.
It is pretty crazy that Glenn had never killed a living person before this episode. He was bound to pop his cherry sooner or later.
We open the episode with a lovely montage of Carol performing domestic tasks/killing a zombie (to an upbeat musical track!) and delivering homemade acorn beet cookies to the local residents. Carol’s future boyfriend, Tobin, says “I’m not a beet kinda guy.” Aren’t you hungry, fool? But the most improbable part of all: she hands out her parcels in immaculate Tupperware containers. Immaculate!
It’s amazing how much crazy Rick brings without realizing that he’s crazy. After punching a severed head in the face to make it look more like Gregory’s, Rick is still like “…what? Why are you looking at me funny? Nothing unusual happening here!”
The Saviors decorate their bedrooms with Polaroids of dead bodies. You guys, we might be dealing with some real sickos. I would save the Polaroids for bathroom décor and avoid the nightmares, but that’s just me.
After all the shit Morgan has been through and seen recently, he is STILL clinging to the “don’t kill anyone, let’s talk it out” plan?
Carol has taken up smoking? Since when?
In the Ultimate Irony Department, I submit for your consideration the guard getting his neck slit by Daryl while whistling “Happy Birthday.” Happy DEATH DAY, BITCH. (Also, since it was whistled poorly, they probably didn’t have to pay for the rights to “perform” that song.)
Abraham’s breakup with Rosita was shockingly insensitive, even for Abraham. Did it not occur to him that he still needs to basically live with this woman? Oh well. Anyone else think Rosita and Jesus would be a hot couple?
Father Gabriel is like fuckin’ Samuel L Jackson in “Pulp Fiction,” reciting Bible verses and shooting guys dead. Where was THIS Father Gabriel last season?! I LOVE this guy!