Fit to Fat to Fit: Fallon and JD

Fat to Fit

JD is surprised and delighted to see Fallon’s new body. JD has lost 21 pounds on his own (wow, that almost never happens on this show) and is now 424. He wants to lose another 100. Their first workout together is on the beach. Fallon struggles with dragging an extra 40 pounds around. JD, however, takes “out of shape” to a new level. Fallon says he is the most unfit client she has ever worked with. Yikes. Indeed, she keeps trying to push him and he is a whiny bitch about it. As soon as something “hurts” a little bit, he quits. Naturally, he blames his pussy behavior on his trainer, saying she doesn’t believe him when he says he can’t do something. Fallon works out alone a lot because JD won’t show up. She decides to try a different approach with him. I like that she is not giving up and she is trying new strategies. This girl is actually competent! Yay!

Fallon sits JD down for a heart-to-heart. JD complains that Fallon pushed him too hard the first week and didn’t trust him when he said he was injured. Dude, you were NOT injured, I don’t see a boot on your foot or anything. What Would Clare Do? I would make him do hard cardio on a no-impact machine, just to show him that he is not friggin’ injured just because his muscles are working hard. At any rate, they start working out together again, and Fallon is making a little progress with him. He is not losing weight very well, and he can’t do too much in the workouts, but Fallon is not pushing him harder than his whiny ass is willing to do.

At 8 weeks, JD gained 5 pounds back in one week. He claims the scale is wrong. UGH, what a fucking knob. He claims he has to travel a lot for work (and can’t exercise or diet, I guess?), so he is not very committed to weight loss, despite his protests to the contrary. In week 9 he gains another 3 pounds, and claims he has had nothing but protein shakes and salad. BULLSHIT! Fallon also smells bullshit, and is pissed that she gained all this weight just to have a client fuck this up so much. JD claims that he feels healthy, but his bloodwork is that of a 70-year-old with pre-diabetes. JD’s reaction: *blank stare.* Fallon starts crying, she is so scared for him. JD’s reaction: *shrug.* I HATE this guy.

Fallon has to sit down for another heart-to-heart with JD. She gives him a contract to sign and he takes umbrage with doing 6 AM workouts. “That means I’d have to get up at 4 AM,” he says. Does it take you two hours to get ready for a morning workout, dipshit? It’s not like you are making yourself pretty for the gym. The way JD talks to Fallon is borderline scary, like a serial killer. He claims paying the bills is more important than his health. “Training wastes too much of my time,” he says. This is why you are a fat, single man with pre-diabetes. They stop working together.


Fallon continued to bust her ass daily and looks amazing. She feels like her old self again, and in fact gets back down below her original weight by one pound! JD is 414 pounds and is proud that he has only gained 9 pounds in the last two months. He claims he is making changes and working to lose weight so he can find a woman. This guy may be the biggest fucking idiot I’ve ever seen on a weight-loss show.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail:
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