Fit to Fat to Fit: Fallon and JD

Photo: A&E
Photo: A&E

Fit to Fat to Fit features the WORST CLIENT IN HISTORY. Brace yourself.

Fallon and JD

Meet Fallon! She is 29. “My body is how I sell myself.” Uh, okay. That sounds bad. She is passionate about her clients. Indeed.

Meet JD! He is 31 and produces red-carpet interviews. So you are responsible for asking female actors if they “can have it all?” Booo. He eats like shit and claims that he is the “designated fat friend,” and women aren’t into him. Maybe if you shaved and got a haircut, dude.

The Consultation

They meet and talk about how tall he is and how short she is. JD weighs in and is 445 pounds. Considering that is 75 pounds more than he was hoping for…EEK. Fallon tells him she will be gaining weight for the next four months. JD is inspired and floored.

Fit to Fat

Fallon is 125 and plans to gain 40 pounds in the next four months. She starts by eating a ton of Cuban food and is not used to feeling full. After 5 weeks she is up 19 pounds, most of it in her boobs. She is learning to love her curvier body. “You don’t have to be skinny to be cute!” she says. I wonder if she gets more attention from men with her newfound badonkadonk. She is drinking milkshakes which is a brilliant weight-gain strategy.

Not all is bliss! She had to have a tooth removed because she was eating so much sugar. Holy crap, a tooth rotted in two months? She has had four menstrual cycles in two months. What the hell is going on with this girl’s body? She is getting worried that she might have irreversible fertility issues going on. I strongly doubt this is permanent, lady. Your hormones are freaking, but they will return to normal. I am impressed that this is the first trainer we have seen that actually looks overweight at the end of this. Indeed, she is 166 pounds, gaining 41 and giving her a BMI in the “obese” range. Huzzah!

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About Clare Snyder 140 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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