Fit to Fat to Fit: Katie and Mateo

Photo: A&E
Photo: A&E

Fit to Fat to Fit finally has a lady trainer!  Does she suck?

Katie and Mateo

Meet Katie! She is 28 and has been a trainer in NYC for 3 years. She claims to be obsessed with exercise, and she works out 3-4 hours a day, every day. Yikes. She thinks fat people are lazy and “lack faith in” themselves. I wonder why they’d lack faith in themselves, what with trainers calling them lazy and all.

Meet Mateo! He is a 44-year-old chef who, unsurprisingly, loves to cook and eat. The unhealthier, the better. He used to be a martial artist but hasn’t been able to compete for a long time. His fiancée is 15 years younger and they are worried his weight will be an issue as he gets older.

The Consultation

They meet at his restaurant and he cuts her a piece off a repulsive-looking leg of pig. Katie is baffled by people who have a “sexual response” to food. Is she referring to people saying “mmmm” when they eat? Because that doesn’t make it sexual, bitch. Mateo is so obsessed with bacon that he refuses to entertain the possibility of giving up bacon. “Don’t tell me not to eat what I want,” he says. I guess this meeting is over, Fuckface. Katie says she will gain 40% of her body weight so they can lose it together. 40%? What the FUCK? That is a LOT. Ten bucks says she doesn’t make it, not even close.

Fit to Fat

Katie’s first stop is a line of food carts, and she will eat one thing at each one. Her plan for the next four months is to eat 4000 calories a day. Hun, you’re gonna need to do better than that. A voiceover says she weighs 123 lb and needs to gain 40 lb. That’s not 40%. See, already this has failed. Anyway, during her food cart binge, her guy friends tell her “don’t burp too much.” Who the hell can control how much they burp? If I took a shot every time there was an unrealistic expectation on this show, I’d be dead by now.

In two weeks, Katie has gained 7 pounds. WEAK. She is having fun and drinking a lot. She finally has a butt, and has been enjoying a lot of sexual harassment about it. Yay? After two months she has gained 18 pounds, and is wondering why she was ever so afraid to gain weight. As time goes on, her skin is getting more and more broken out, and her eyes look more and more sunken and tired. She feels as bad as she looks, too. She has no energy and feels nauseous all the time. No, she’s not pregnant. Probably. But she feels shitty enough that she wants to quit and is having a really hard time. By the time she hits 28 pounds, she is miserable and anxious. She has lost clients because she hasn’t got the energy to work, which is giving her a major existential crisis. She regrets taking on the experiment, and quits gaining after 15 weeks at 31 pounds. She claims she has gone from a size 0 (I believe it) to a size 12 (YEAH RIGHT). She looks like she is maybe an 8.

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About Clare Snyder 140 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
Contact: Twitter
  • Aaron Mucciolo

    What.

    Daheck.

    Is this show?