Fat to Fit
Alex wants to lose 53 pounds, and Geoff wants to lose 83. Let’s get started with a beach workout! “We’re gonna target his cardiovascular system,” Alex says in an effort to sound smart. Geoff runs like a spaz, and Alex is a bit of a Nazi about making Geoff do sprints and jumping jacks with no rest at all. Geoff starts puking and Alex is pleased with himself. “He just got a reality check. He realized how out of shape he is.” People, please remember this: vomiting is NOT the goal of a workout. It is a sign that you are damaging yourself. Alex hopes that Geoff will be inspired by his spectacular running of the obstacle course, and thinks getting back in shape will be a piece of cake. Cut to Alex looking like a big fat blob out there. LOLOL.
Alex goes over Geoff’s bloodwork with him, and Geoff is like “I’m relieved my cholesterol isn’t WORSE,” and I wonder just how low of friggin’ standards this guy has. They hit the gym together and Alex got really out of shape. Wowza. The power of deconditioning! Alex loses 14 pounds in the first week and yeah, it’s obviously water weight. Part of Alex’s diet that he wrote for Geoff states he is to eat “2/3rds cup eggs.” Who the hell measures eggs like that? Just say two eggs, or whatever, you toolbag.
After five weeks, things are going swimmingly. “Is my progress at the gym where you expected it to be?” Geoff asks as they walk extremely slowly on treadmills. Lame. Alex got back together with his girlfriend, in case you were losing sleep over that situation. Geoff is not happy with his body after 9 weeks, and it is affecting his workouts. What Would Clare Do? I would stress the fact that, as he gets in better shape, his expectations for himself will continue to grow, and the temptation to compare himself to others will increase. You need to focus on what you can control, which is how hard you work and how healthy you eat. You can control your actions, but you cannot control the results of those actions vis a vis your appearance. Act like an athlete and you will eventually look like your most athletic self. Fortunately, Alex is on it, and tells him to focus on how much his bloodwork has improved since the beginning of this.
After 16 weeks, Alex has gotten back down to 165, which was his goal/original weight. Yaaaay. Geoff looks much better, and much healthier (his face is less…splotchy, I suppose). He wanted to hit 200 pounds, and comes in at 195! Good job, Geoff. Now go marry your suspiciously-hot fiancée. *glances sidelong*