Fit to Fat to Fit: Adonis and Alissa

Fat to Fit

Their first workout is on the beach. Indeed, you can tell that Alissa did not bother working out at all. She is a nightmare client and I feel bad for Adonis. “I can’t do this! I have no upper body!” “That’s what we’re working on,” a patient Adonis says. “This is ridiculous!” she whines. Holy shit, you guys, for the first time I empathize more with the trainer on this show than the client. She is whining and complaining and refusing and doing badly on purpose so that he won’t ask her to do it again. “He is mean. This is like a punishment,” she says. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE FAT, LADY. She dramatically flops onto the sand and acts like she is hyperventilating, even though she is normal color and her eyes are not glazed over whatsoever.

Adonis takes her to the cemetery to say this is where they’ll end up if they go down this road. “This is very morbid,” a clueless Alissa says. Adonis had to go on blood pressure medication, which boggles Alissa’s mind. “He’s not that much older than me!” Alissa is, I suspect, a complete moron. She seems to think that the only unhealthy fat people are old. They work out together in the cemetery. Seeing Adonis work out is helping Alissa to keep her ass in gear, at least. Alissa is very resistant to the idea of being trained, but when Adonis acts like a workout buddy, she can handle it. I couldn’t deal with a client like that (too high maintenance, and you should never expect your trainer to do everything that you do, since they have their own goals and workouts on their own), but good for Adonis.

They’ve kept working out together and Adonis is glad he is helping her love working out, because then she will keep it up later. They are both enjoying eating healthy. They are losing weight at a similar pace. “We’re making progress! Yes yes yes!” Adonis says. I actually like this trainer. What an odd feeling. Alissa teaches Adonis how to swim, which is adorable. They do old-lady water aerobics and I have genuine feelz, you guys. Alissa is worried about what’s going to happen when she has to go back to work (they’d been working out all summer). *shrug* Just keep doing it, bitch.


“Adonis is back!” Adonis says. He gets down to 230 and is pleased that he gained more muscle in the process. He is more excited about having helped Alissa. She is smaller and has a new boyfriend Mike, who she “jokes” that she should get Adonis to train. Yikes, lady. She is down to 251, so she lost 57 pounds. Not even close to her goal, but oh well. She is kind of awful, bless her heart. But good luck to her, I guess.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail:
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