The Biggest Loser gives us two episodes in one. With double the filler!
As a personal trainer and avid reality television fan, I find The Biggest Loser to be one of the most compelling and frustrating shows on television. Every week I rank the most appalling situations, quotes, and people on a scale from mildly irresponsible to downright dangerous.
I know Bob is a vegan and his “burgers” are probably less perishable than real burgers, but telling people to just “throw an extra burger in your bag and you’re good to go for the day” is just bizarre and a one-way ticket to e.coli-land.
The second challenge of the episode involves pulling food trucks across a large parking lot. This looks vomit-inducing and back-breaking.
The red team talks to Dolvett about their two losses, and it is a really awkward conversation. Dolvett takes all responsibility for his team not doing well, which is extremely unfair. These people signed up for this show and if they’ve even watched one episode before, they know what the trainers are like. They yell. They scream. They do this to motivate you. If you can’t wrap your fat brain around it, you will go home, because that’s how the show works. I haven’t seen Dolvett do anything too egregious compared to any other year, so I think Bitchy Felicia (who might be a scooch racist and sexist, just keeping it real) might be projecting her own insecurities onto this situation and making it all worse. Not the kind of behavior Dolvett should enable.
Lorena Garcia comes in to cook for Jen’s team after they win the second challenge, and talks about how she is going to teach the team how to prepare healthy food. Awesome! That’s what we need to see! They’re going to make a healthy taco – oh, wait, let’s cut to Dolvett’s team having to choose lunch from a food truck menu, and requesting “extra bacon.” These morons still haven’t figured out that rule #1 of weight loss is: DON’T ORDER EXTRA BACON?! Back to the healthy taco, where two tiny lettuce leaves with taco fillings is 290 calories. I could get two REAL tacos, fresco-style, at Taco Bell for that.
In the first challenge, they take a bunch of food addicts and force them to eat horribly unhealthy foods if they answer poorly-worded nutrition questions incorrectly. Example: which is the unhealthiest school lunch for kids? By what fucking criteria are we defining “unhealthy?” This entire challenge is like taking a bunch of heroin addicts in rehab and shooting them up against their will. Very uncomfortable to watch, and, you guessed it…irresponsible.
They have introduced a Last-Chance Challenge this season, and poor Bob trying to clearly say that tongue-twister cracks me up. The LCC tonight: a rowing-machine relay, wherein each player rows 500 meters and the first team to 2000 meters wins a 2-lb advantage. 500 meters on a rowing machine is a quick sprint, so I’m not impressed at all. It would take me about 2 minutes of ass-busting to bang that out. Also, in typical TBL fashion, everyone has absolutely horrible form on the rowing machine.
Having a double-episode is great. I thought, “hooray, we’ll get this bullshit over with!” But of course, the first thing to go on The Biggest Loser is actual content. Once again we see almost no mention of nutrition, unless you count vague talk about fat content during the first challenge, and watching Lorena Garcia mix up a taco. Turns out a two-hour double-episode of this show means we have a full one hour of excruciatingly slow weigh-ins. Maybe they should discuss the temptation to fast-forward through all this garbage.
Wrap It Up
Dolvett’s team wins the first challenge, but in the first weigh-in, his team loses again, and Whitney is sent home. Felicia is Dolvett’s arch-nemesis, and leads the charge in bitching him out in their living room after the weigh-in. In the second hour, Jen’s team finally wins the challenge, while Dolvett’s team works on cohesion. Jen’s team also wins the last-chance challenge and an extra 2 pounds. Alas, the advantage does nothing, and they lose. Hope is sent home.