5 Awesome Things from Nashville: The Exes Make Beautiful Music

Nashville (Screen: ABC)

The Exes may be bickering, but that ain’t hurting their onstage chemistry.

Still in the midst of being grounded forever, Maddie dyes her hair blond and steals Daphne’s phone so she can text boyfriend Colt. Deacon doesn’t know how to deal with her teen girl drama; as soon as Rayna gets home from marathon recording sessions with Markus, he retreats to The Beverly and over-fixates on construction projects. Drama escalates when Sony offers Maddie a record deal on the basis of her impromptu performance with Juliette1 and Rayna forbids it. Maddie resents Rayna, Daphne is crushed that Sony doesn’t want her, and Rayna wishes Deacon would be there to help. Meanwhile, manic Deacon is trying to knock down the ceiling at The Beverly, leading Frankie to observe, “You’re startin’ to go a little dry drunk on me here.” Things get muckier when Markus encourages Rayna to confide her woes in him. He’s clearly falling in love with her.

The Exes begin their club tour. While Scarlett makes a point of ironing out technical details and courting fans in her free time, Gunnar spends his energy trying to sex Erin the sound tech. Blondie is not amused. She is further frustrated by her inability to catch Dr. Caleb by phone (and vice versa). He blames her for this, because of course he feels his job is more important than hers and she should stop everything when he calls.2

Luke’s tour rolls on without Juliette, who remains in detox. Colt still won’t talk to his dad or any of the therapists brought in to help him. Feeling lonely and sad, Luke convinces manager/sex buddy Gabriella to be his girlfriend for real. She agrees, but only on the condition that they keep it secret. Speaking of secrets, Will’s hiding something in his bedroom and Avery is dying to know what or who it is. The truth will be revealed here, in the five awesome things from last week’s Nashville

Luke’s douche factor just went up ten fold Luke is desperately trying to get Colt to like him again, so he throws out this trump card. “Kid Rock is filling in as my opener and I was talking to him about how much you’re into hip hop. He said he’d really like to meet you.” BARF. I find it interesting that Kid Rock was not a guest star. I mean, they can get Christina Aguilera and Steven Tyler. Why not him? It’s almost like show knows his music sucks and this was a great way of reminding us that Luke does, too.

Erin effs up like a big girl During The Exes’ Boston show, Erin pushes a knob too hard and ends up shorting out the sound and lights mid-song. No matter! Gunnar and Scarlett turn it into a fantastic acoustic performance, lit by every audience members’ cell phone. The Exes on-stage sexual tension is amped up more than ever as Erin squirms behind her sound board.

But that’s not the best part. Scarlett assumes she’ll have to be the bad guy who yells at Erin. She’s pleasantly surprised to find Gunnar reaming their sound tech after the show BUT NOT IN THAT WAY, YOU PERV. Apparently, Erin oversold her experience a bit when she was trying to get the job. She promises to be better prepared and not screw up again. Then she and Gunnar get to doing it for real. Anyway, I appreciate that Erin’s mistake was entirely professional and had nothing to do with Scarlett-related jealousy or cattiness. Much of the storytelling on Nashville is about women just doing their jobs, and that’s a big part of why I love it.

Colt continues to own Luke As part of Luke’s ongoing sexual negotiations with Gabriella,3 he promises to keep their relationship secret as long as he can tell Colt. When he does, Colt is just like, “Obviously. You were with her the night Jeff died, right?” Then he continues hating his lying, skeevy dad for being an opportunistic mofo.

Will finally gets a win Will’s big secret is… he’s writing songs. Like pretty much EVERY character on this show. And he had to keep his bedroom door shut so Avery wouldn’t see pieces of paper sitting around? Okay, so this story is kinda weak, but not as weak as Will’s self esteem! He barely agrees to sing his break-up ballad for Avery, and totally chickens out when it’s time to perform at the Bluebird open mic. Avery performs the heart-wrenching ditty anyway and everyone in the audience weeps.4 When Avery later tells Will that his song was a hit, he also hands over the business card of an interested publisher. JEEBUS IT’S ABOUT TIME. Looks like Will is finally about to find joy in doing something he loves.

Maddie assumes the mantle Peggy, Lamar and Jeff are all dead.5 Tandy skipped town and Juliette’s dopey sidekick Lindsay is gone. Who is Music City’s new WORST? Congratulations, it’s you, Maddie! This whole episode, Maddie whines because Rayna won’t let her sign with Sony. And, yeah, I’m pretty sure most 16 year old girls would be pissed at their mom for that. Even Rayna acknowledges during her heart-to-heart with Markus that Maddie is exactly like she was at that age. But instead of kicking her daughter out of the house like Lamar did,6 she wants to protect her child. So Mom comes up with an excellent solution – she offers to sign Maddie and Daphne to Highway 65 as a sister act. Pretty awesome win-win-win for all three ladies, right? Daphne thinks so. How does Maddie respond the her kid sister’s excitement? “The only reason she signed us at all is to keep me under her control.” Kick rocks, Maddie. You’re the WORST child, sibling and character. I hope Colt sees what a brat you are and dumps you.

  1. Which is what got her grounded forever in the first place  
  2. Scarlett does not suffer this nonsense, and good on her for that  
  3. a.k.a. the most boring story line of season 4  
  4. I enjoyed this because it made me feel better about crying at a really good concert, which I always do  
  5. RIP one and all  
  6. Which meant she had to fend off music industry scumbags all by herself, eww  

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Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles
Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv
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