The Walking Dead will upset you. Grab a hanky.
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
Our intrepid band of survivalists makes their way back to Alexandria, apparently all taking the longest possible route. Michonne and Glenn head through a town, but get split up when a herd comes through. Lots of folks die, including Glenn1 and Nicholas. Rick gets jumped by some Wolves while in the RV and makes quick work of them. But now he can’t get the RV started, and walkers are surrounding him. Uh oh, Spaghettios. Next week: …Morgan’s backstory? Goddammit. Not NOW, Show!
Michonne is still the default designated murderer? Can’t anyone else become handy with an edged weapon? They’ve had a long time to think about this.
Why is anyone sad to see Sturgess get eaten? Dude was useless. Even the guy he accidentally shot looks upset.
The injured Alexandrians know they will be of no use to anyone, and will effectively slow everybody down, but it is shockingly noble for them to offer to be left behind. These folks never seemed so brave before.
They were in that pet store (and sitting quietly) for a really long time before the walkers in the closet started banging away.
Useless Annie trips in the woods, lands on soft soil, and limps for the rest of the episode. You’d think she’d eventually shake it off.
It might not be the wisest move to take refuge from a growing herd in a building. Didn’t anyone even think to at least get on a roof? Do I have to think of everything around here?
Really, Michonne? You couldn’t have grabbed David’s note for his wife, or at least stabbed his brain? You had to let him get devoured by walkers? Seriously, do I have to think of everything?
I don’t know how Heath can be so offended by hearing Rick say “try to save them, but ditch them to save yourselves if you must.” That’s basically been the Alexandria motto. Look at Nicholas!
As if to illustrate Rick’s point, one of the Alexandria red shirts gets eaten thirty seconds later by a walker that apparently nobody saw coming, and apparently nobody bothered to fight. Sigh.
I am by no means an expert on RV structure, but I fail to see how shooting up the side of the RV would make it unable to start. And if that isn’t the reason for the failing engine, then how come this thing, which has probably been functioning fine for years, is all of a sudden defunct right when Rick needs it most? Interesting.2
Jesus almighty in heaven above, how far away is Alexandria?! They’ve been walking for what seems like eleven years. Morgan jogged there in 5 minutes, for crying out loud.
The internet seems to think that Glenn is still alive. People, Glenn is effing DEAD. Even if he isn’t dead-dead at the end of the episode, he is doomed. Completely overcome by walkers, defenseless, nobody living even knows he is there…he is dead, folks. Nobody is invincible in this world. The only reason to be pissed off is because of the way he went out, with any ambiguity at all. He should have been given a definitive send-off so that the internet would not cling to insane false hopes, like “it was a dream sequence.” That would be worse, you guys.