An Unfortunate Episode – Jem “Alone Again”

A montage follows – Laura pulls the new pills from her obnoxious rainbow lunch box, then we see her spazzing while washing dishes (broken plates ensue), soon she’s tossing and turning in bed, waking up at all hours of the night. The montage ends with Laura tweaking out at 4am and deciding this is a great time to practice for The Big Concert. Ashley and the other orphans disagree. Point well taken, Ash. Not only is it the middle of the night, this music is TERRIBLE. Ashley threatens Laura, mentioning she has a Big History Exam1 in the morning and must get sleep. Laura refuses to stop noodling, and a full-on brawl ensues – yeah! Then Jerrica appears, with her Linda Evans Dynasty hair, earrings, and full makeup — like ya do when you roll outta bed at 4am — and intervenes. Everybody’s grounded!

Jerrica's 4am look (Screen: Sunbow/Marvel Productions)
Jerrica’s 4am look (Screen: Sunbow/Marvel Productions)

Trouble arises again the next morning, when spazzy Laura tries passing juice to her housemate and dumps it all over the poor girl’s clothes. At this point, Laura is looking way haggard. Girl, you need to see Bobby about getting some chill pills.

Laura on Drugs (Screen: Sunbow/Marvel Productions)
Laura on Drugs (Screen: Sunbow/Marvel Productions)

She storms off to find more pills but, d’oh! Her stupid rainbow lunchbox is empty. Jerrica confronts her and broaches the subject of addiction, but ol’ craggy face ain’t in the mood.

Later at school, Laura approaches ancient Bobby at his locker, but he’s not interested in her problems. When she asks for more pills, he tells her it’s gonna cost thirty bucks. D.A.R.E. ALERT! Your first two doses are free, third time’s charged. Geez, didn’t you pay any attention at assembly, Laura?

Now it’s time for Jem and the Holograms’ anti-drug anthem, “Nightmare”. Even for a Jem music video, it’s pretty trippy – people morphing into the bars of a prison cell, a fleet of giant pills speeding at Laura like bullets, a sequence where she sucks on stage and everyone laughs at her. I especially enjoyed this not at all heavy-handed moment.

Real subtle, guys (Screen: Sunbow/Marvel Productions)
Real subtle, guys (Screen: Sunbow/Marvel Productions)

Next we see Laura burgling Jerrica’s purse. Jerrica catches her, but not before Laura makes a dramatic dash, panting, “Got..to find… Bobby!” She heads to school, where she encounters Ashley in the hallway. “Oh, Ashley. Sorry, I can’t talk now. I’m trying to find somebody.” Ash is basically like, “Bitch, I didn’t want to talk to you anyway,” then walks away, drops her books all over the floor, and who’s there to help her clean up the mess? Geriatric Bobby. “I used to hope for a natural disaster, maybe an earthquake, so I wouldn’t have to take my history tests,” he quips. Um, that pick-up makes no sense in this context, but whatevs.

  1. This will matter later.  

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Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles
Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv
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