Improbable? Index: The Walking Dead’s “First Time Again”

Ethan Embry as Carter - The Walking Dead _ Season 6, Episode 1 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC
The Walking Dead (Photo: Gene Page / AMC)

The Walking Dead is back, bitches! Ya “herd?”

We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.

“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap

Rick goes to bury WifeBeater McDrunkDoc in the woods and stumbles across a quarry full of hundreds, possibly thousands, of trapped walkers. He concocts a brilliant plan to free them from their semi-truck-created prison and send them packing down the road a few dozen miles. All goes well until one of them eats Carter’s face (convenient way to get rid of Carter, who was plotting against Rick), and then a horn sounds in Alexandria, drawing the herd to their location. Oops. Who was responsible for the sabotage? We will find out…next week.

Mildly Improbable

The teetering semi truck on the cliff just happened to fall over at the exact moment Rick finishes going over the “plan for tomorrow?” How convenient! As Abraham says, “we’ll do it live!”

Yes, they need flares to help execute their plan, but do they need DOZENS of them? And why are they using them so liberally? Those need to last a long time, folks.

Carol is a fantastic actress, but it is odd that Morgan is the only one in Alexandria who sees through her Suzy Homemaker routine.

Judith has gone from being blond with blue eyes, to being brunette with brown eyes. We aren’t friggin’ BLIND, Show. They couldn’t have found a blond replacement baby?

Pretty Improbable

As much as I loathe the tradition of wondering aloud if a woman is pregnant…is Maggie pregnant? They’ve been telegraphing it for a while, and now she is literally being sidelined for no stated reason. Getting pregnant is the logical thing to do, I suppose, considering the only doctor in town was a drunk and is now a corpse.

I know there aren’t many extra watches in the zombie apocalypse, but exactly how long is “a tick,” and how does Eugene keep track of them?

What’s with the balloons? They don’t seem to serve any sort of purpose, except maybe to jazz up the joint a bit.

Extremely Improbable

As much as I appreciate Abraham’s “and one for my homies” move for Reg’s corpse, no way is anyone wasting a shot of liquor on a dead dude.

Eugene and Heath have hair so fake that Wendy Williams is watching this at home, scoffing loudly over a delicious glass of pinot grigio.

Jessie’s “don’t touch my son, Rick” hysteria is ridiculous. First of all, her dead husband probably beat the crap out of her son, anyway. Second, because Rick literally put one finger on the kid’s chest, unless you count Rick tackling him to keep him from running right off a cliff.

YEAH, RIGHT

Why has Morgan been stuck in a barren, unfinished craphole in Alexandria like some kind of criminal? First night in town, Rick’s crew was just handed a bunch of tastefully appointed homes (“starting at $800K,” according to the sign on the road). Poor Morgan is sleeping on a sheet in a garage or some shit.

Some of the walkers that hit the wall violently crack their heads open with the force of…stumbling into a wall at 2 mph? Seriously? That has the equivalent force of a shotgun slug at close range?

When people are presented with extreme danger, there is typically a “fight or flight” response. The people of Alexandria have neither. When walkers approach, they flop to the ground and hold their hands in front of their face ineffectually. It seems impossible that these people have survived this long without basic reflexes, regardless of how long they’ve been in Alexandria.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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  • Aaron Mucciolo

    No, okay, wait – my question wasn’t what were the balloons for (although now that you raise that point I, too, am puzzled) but WHO THOUGHT IT IMPORTANT TO PRIORITIZE WORKING HELIUM TANKS OVER ANYTHING ELSE IN THE APOCALYPSE?!

    • Clare Snyder

      They even had to mention on The Talking Dead that helium tanks would, in fact, still work. But who the hell is raiding Party City for helium tanks at the end of the world? “Forget food and gasoline, we need HELIUM! We might want to INFLATE BALLOONS for AMBIGUOUS PURPOSES!”