UnREAL Talk: Wrap It Up, Please

UnREAL (Photo: James Dittiger / Lifetime)
UnREAL (Photo: James Dittiger / Lifetime)

UnREAL ties up plot holes and practices safe sex. I hope.

The clock is winding down on UnREAL and Everlasting! Everyone tries to decide what’s next.

Let’s get a final two! Producers are urged by…guess who…to get their contestants to show more cleavage. Apparently cleavage is the cornerstone of lasting love. Poor Shamiqua knows she doesn’t stand a chance, but she’s Jay’s last hope. All three others – Anna, Faith, and Grace – are Rachel’s golden girls. Guess which one’s the Blanche!

Chet’s divorce. Chet has left his wife and decided to give her a $50 million cash settlement. Well, that was resolved quickly. Quinn’s all “OMG you ass, you gave away our nest egg,” but Chet has a plan: an Everlasting spinoff called Royal Love, featuring Adam and his bride. So…

Adam’s getting married. Like it or not, buddy. And I hope you like Grace, because she is your pre-ordained wife. Maybe. But there’s good news…

Rachel’s career might take off! Chet can’t get Adam to agree, so if Rachel can get Adam on board for the spinoff, she becomes executive producer instead of Quinn. The plot thickens!

Anna wants in. Officially she just wants Adam because they “have a real connection” (LOL), but I’m sure she wants a starring role on Royal Love. This is perfect for what Chet and Quinn want, too: a horse race on Everlasting! Not a literal horse race. Although that’d be “royal-y,” too. Rachel encourages Anna to push hard for the hoop, if you know what I mean. Rachel tries to talk Adam into picking Anna and just not getting married – stay engaged, get your vineyard renovated, and walk away from television after a year. Adam prefers that deal.

Chet + Quinn = engaged. Whoop dee doo. Except Quinn later discovers Chet receiving a BJ from the mousy production assistant with the braids. Eew. Even grosser: Quinn still wants to marry this scumbag!

Rachel/Adam/Jeremy. Jeremy breaks up with his fiancée, and makes yet another pass at Rachel. She might be into it, or she might be more into Adam being into her. Which he literally is at the end of the episode. More than just the plot is thickening, if you catch my drift!

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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