UnREAL Talk: Duly Noted

Quinn (Constance Zimmer) and Rachel (Shiri Appleby) deal with the fallout from the end of last week's episode of Lifetime's UnREAL.
UnREAL (Photo: James Dittiger / Lifetime)

UnREAL breaks several federal laws. Are you surprised?

This week, UnREAL deals with the aftermath of Mary’s suicide. Mostly the legal aftermath, because if our justice system ever found out about Shia screwing with Mary’s meds, the show would be done. Let’s just go through and list the turns of events that lead to (huzzah!) resolution!

Shia tearfully confesses to Quinn and Rachel that she screwed with Mary’s meds. At least she seems remorseful! Of course, it’s too little, too late at this point. Rachel is naturally thrilled that her decision to bring Kirk onto the show isn’t the only thing that put Mary over the edge.

Quinn decides to cover up for Shia. This is really just self-preservation, since the show would be finished. Nobody gives a shit about Shia, bless her heart.

The toxicology tests come back. Mary was drunk! And off her meds! No surprise to anyone, but this is pretty damning evidence. I guess lying to the lawyers won’t help much. Time for plan C, or D, or whatever the hell letter we’re on by now.

Rachel and Jeremy have sex. Not sure what purpose this serves, except to gross out the viewer. It’s especially annoying after Jeremy slut-shamed Rachel the last time even though he was the one initiating, but whatever.

Rachel “finds” a suicide note. We could also call this “Rachel writes a suicide note.” The note conveniently blames Mary and Kirk for everything and relieves the show of any liability. Mary’s sister has no problem with reading a fake note on the air as long as it keeps Kirk from getting custody of his daughter.

Maya quits the show. She and Adam are the only ones who understand that the show killed Mary.

Everyone is happy! Except Shia, who feels terribly guilty! Hooray! Let’s see how long this lasts.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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