UnREAL Talk: Gotta Have Faith

Jeremy and Rachel set up for shooting on Lifetime's UnREAL
UnREAL (Photo: James Dittiger / Lifetime)

UnREAL exploits Faith’s virginity. Is that better than almost exploiting her sexual orientation?

Shia, the Queen of Charm. When she is put in charge of interviewing contestants, shit hits the fan. Example: when she flat-out asks Mary “are you an alcoholic or something?” I mean, really. How did she get this job? Then she starts screwing around with Mary’s medications and it looks like Shia is trying to get sent to prison for attempted murder. Will this show stop at nothing?!

Litigious Quinn. She has decided to sue Chet, which I am sure has nothing whatsoever to do with his wife being pregnant and Quinn being pissed about it. Nope. Nothing whatsoever. This plotline does give us some scintillating scenes about intellectual property law, so it isn’t a complete waste of time. Bonus points for charming Shia using the verb “produce” to essentially mean “inspire suicidal thoughts” when telling Quinn how to handle Chet. He ends up settling for giving Quinn 40% of the show, so it worked, huzzah!

Faith the Virgin. Faith gets a hometown date with Adam and, naturally, this means her virginity and general inexperience with men will be exploited left and right. It also seems that she is a lesbian. There’s probably (at least) one every season! Actually, I can’t even snark on the moment where Faith tells Adam that she is attracted to her friend Amy, then is giddy with happiness that God didn’t strike her dead. That was genuinely cute shit. Unfortunately Amy is not quite ready to come out in rural Mississippi, so Faith and Adam act like they have sex for the sake of the show. Allllllllrighty then! I’m sure Grandma will have no problem with that, but heaven forbid her granddaughter be one of them gays.

Rachel + Jeremy. Am I the only one bored with these two? Ugh. Anyway, they almost have sex in this episode, but they don’t. Yawn. Then Rachel masturbates to a video of her and Jeremy hanging out on the beach, and a nation weeps.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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