5 Awesome Things from Nashville: Beverly’s Crazy Eyes

Nashville (Screen: ABC)

Beverly. Don’t. Mess.Juliette is flying around in her private jet, doing pop-up rooftop concerts in various cities, having mile-high club sex with Avery,1 and pretending she doesn’t have a newborn baby. Rayna offers The Exes a killer deal at Highway 65; Gunnar’s all about it, but Scarlett is ambivalent. Mayor Teddy’s buddies at the US Attorney’s office offer a different sort of deal – if he wears a wire and helps nail a corrupt senator (one of Lamar’s cronies), they’ll overlook his adventures in prostitution. Jade’s fired Layla for tweeting a party photo of them, which Layla assumes she did while blackout drunk; really it was skeevy Jeff’s doing and now he’s advising Layla to start a Twitter war with Ms. St. John. Will’s homophobic dad Bill surprise visits him at a promotional event for Wheelin’ Dealin’ Records.

News breaks about Deacon’s cancer and soon everyone’s talking about him like he’s a dead man. Suddenly every phone is ringing off the hook at Highway 65 records, just as Rayna receives a special delivery from Beverly – a torn up, million dollar liver bribe check. When Bucky suggests Juliette finish her album instead of touring, she vows to complete it in two days. Deadbeat mom Kylie is crashing at Gunnar’s place while she tries to make long-distance amends with her son and parents. Bill wants to make amends with Will, but seems to assume his son is no longer gay. Deacon is scheduled to perform at the Bluebird that evening, but gets caught up in a major sob session with Rayna. Teddy secretly records his meeting with the sleazy senator, who reveals he was more in cahoots with Tandy than Lamar. And since she’s neither dead nor despised by Rayna, that makes things waaay more complicated.

Here are five awesome things from last night’s Nashville

The double date from hell The Exes bring their dates to the Bluebird, where they’re supposed to perform a song for Deacon’s show. Scarlett already hates Kylie because of that time she dumped her ten year old kid on Gunnar and ran off to be with her internet boyfriend in Tulsa. Gunnar hates Caleb ’cause he’s Mr. Fancy Doctor Man who gets to be with Scarlett. Hmm, kinda feeling like Scarlett has a better case here, but that isn’t the point. The point is, if the Exes don’t start getting along and pick a label, manager Noel’s gonna drop them. Then, Uncle Deacon calls Scarlett and asks The Exes to cover the whole damn show so he can sob sesh with Rayna. Scarlett and Gunnar grudgingly agree to fill in and — surprise! — crazy onstage chemistry and sexual tension ensue. Kylie and Caleb grimace as the rest of the crowd eats it up. After the show, The Exes agree to sign with Highway 65 and keep their personal lives separate. But the season finale is next week, so YEAH, RIGHT.

Jeff turns even more Mean Girls He’s all over Layla’s phone, posting bitchy tweets about Jade, when he intercepts a call from Bucky. Bucky tells Jeff to tell Layla that she oughta back off from this catfight. Instead, Jeff tells Layla that Bucky LOVES the publicity. Oooh, that’s some Juliette-level lying (more about that later), but he doesn’t have the crazy hormones excuse! Then, when Layla’s in a good mood about her new song and her spike in Twitter followers, he shoves a contract in her face and tells her to sign it. “I built you up from nothing once and I’m the one doing it here again,” he says. It works, she signs it, and now he owns her forever.

Okay, feels good to be full-on hating Jeff again. Currently hoping he gets hit by a bus.

The intervention Juliette is being so, SO bad. Like, worse than ever. First she tells Avery that Rayna has demanded a finished album in two days. He wants to go to Deacon’s Bluebird show to support their sick friend, but she’s all, “I don’t need to go, cuz he’ll be fine. You go ahead. I’ll work at home/take care of the baby!” Instead, she gets so absorbed in her recordings that she completely ignores Cadence and neglects her for hours. OH MY GOD, JUST WRITING THAT STRESSES ME OUT. When Jules runs off to the studio, kindly assistant Emily finds a starving, poopy diapered baby and alerts Avery. Juliette later comes home to find Avery, Glenn, Emily and her OB/GYN waiting for her. Postpartum depression intervention time! The doc says she’s hyper-focusing on her album, but Jules is having none of that. She just reminds everyone that they’re on her payroll and they best get in line.
Ugh, this story is so sad, but I’m glad her condition is being treated as a mental illness and not just psychotic selfishness.

Will gets outed Will’s adorable new boyfriend Kevin isn’t upset that they have to hide their relationship. But he is sad to see Will so forgiving of the dad who kicked him out of the house at age 17, which leads to their first couple’s fight. Poor Will. Is his dad really capable of loving a gay son? We’ll find out soon, because some tabloid pics of Will and Kevin on vacation are about to go public. What will Bill think? How will Luke react? Is everyone going to mock Layla even more? So much fallout incoming!!

Beverly’s crazy eyes Like a couple of troubadour troopers, Deacon and Rayna show up to the Bluebird and wow the crowd with their own brand of musical chemistry. After the show, they’re making out in the cafe when Beverly suddenly arrives. “I wanna do it,” she tells her brother. “I wanna help you live!” She gives Deacon a big, squeezy hug… while shooting a majorly shady glance at Rayna. Yikes! What’s in it for her? Something that makes Rayna miserable, no doubt. Don’t forget – Beverly. Don’t. Mess.

  1. Is her vagina seriously ready for that?  

A Brief Word From Our Sponsors:

Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles
Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv
Contact: Twitter