Xtina is pop star Jade St. John, and appears to be borrowing one of Aubrey Peeples’s Jem wigsSleep-deprived new mom Juliette freaks out on Avery when he leaves the house to do a Triple Xs interview with Pitchfork. Rayna asks Deacon to move into her mansion, but he’s still getting weird vibes from Maddie. Layla asks skeevy manager Jeff to get her an opening gig with his old buddy, pop superstar Jade St. John (Christina Aguilera!).1 Video of Scarlett and Gunnar’s riveting performance has gone viral, and everyone wonders if they’re a couple; Scarlett assures dreamy doctor Caleb that there’s nothing to worry about. Secretly gay cowboy Will reveals to Gunnar that he has a crush on openly gay songwriter Kevin. Eager for an escape from new mom hell, Juliette agrees to write an end credits song for the Patsy Cline biopic. It’s due the next day.
Jeff and Jade make a deal – she’ll let Layla open for her in Nashville if he gets her a meeting with her idol, Luke (their negotiation is all weirded up by the fact that they were once engaged). After dropping the girls off at school, Rayna catches Maddie making out with former future stepson, Colt. Mayor Teddy cuts the ribbon on the BS parks project that he’s using as a cover to fund prostitute Natasha’s escape from the feds.2 Rayna runs into Luke and is surprised to learn he’s known about Maddie and Colt’s relationship for weeks. The Pitchfork reporter ignores Avery and fixates on Scarlett and Gunnar’s relationship, so the Triple Xs schedule an impromptu performance so they can show this insufferable hipster critic what they’re really about. Rayna confronts Maddie about her sneaky ways, which goes horribly. Layla finally reveals that Jeff is her manager, causing another set of weird feels for boss Rayna. As usual, the Queen can’t catch a break but her hair still looks fabulous.
Here are five awesome things from last night’s Nashville
Juliette hates being a mom But, ya’ know, in that way that we all hate it in the beginning. Frantic statements like, “I feel like the life force is being sucked out of my body,” and, “I’ll just sit here, like a blob, and be an unemployed milking machine,” really took me back to those crazy days. I’d like to think I wouldn’t be the sort of new mom who ignores her crying baby or hires a nanny to take the kid while I fly in my private jet to an unnecessary meeting in Los Angeles, but I’ve never had the fame or wealth to test that theory. TRYING TO BE NON-JUDGMENTAL HERE. Look at it this way – Jules hasn’t locked baby Cadence in a trailer so she can run off and do drugs, so at least she’s surpassing her mom in the parenting biz. Thumbs up!
Gunnar’s douchey hat For months I’ve been wondering – am I really supposed to dig Gunnar and root for him getting back together with Scarlett? Because I don’t.3 But he’s one of those ostensibly “nice” guys that I feel like the writers want me to like, so I’ve been a bit confused. But then they had him wear this hat.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to hate this guy.
I’m starting to really like Luke On the other end of the mixed feels spectrum, there’s Luke. I couldn’t stand him when he was engaged to Rayna, but my attitude’s changed since he straight-up lied about seeing Pete attack Sadie (so she wouldn’t have to go to jail for killer her abuser in self defense). This week, we see him being the model of “just be cool” when Rayna freaks out about Maddie and Colt. And then he’s super nice to Deacon when he finds out he has cancer. And that’s more than just basic “being a decent human” when you’re dealing with the guy who busted up your wedding. Way to be a mensch, Luke!
Will finally gets some But only after some deeply awkward maneuvers. First, he tries stalling in the studio with Kevin. But Kevin’s a busy dude, so that fails. Then he invites Kevin to the Triple Xs show, but in that half-assed, “Maybe it would be cool if you showed up” kinda way. Kevin does show up, but starts hanging out with some other guy. Heartache! Will bolts but then Kevin follows him home, asking what the abrupt exit was about. Will admits that he was trying to ask him out earlier (which is also his way of coming out to him) and then Kevin kisses him. Yayyyyy! Though Will isn’t ready to publicly out himself, he shall henceforth be known here only as “gay cowboy”.
What Bodie said Mayor Teddy is all ready to pay Natasha off when she suddenly demands cash. He grumbles but manages to get it to her, and she tearfully thanks him for being a good dude. Really? Must be the guilt talking, because it later turns out she was wearing a wire and totally working with the feds. Guess I should’ve seen that coming, but I was too busy wondering if Teddy was gonna pay someone to kill her.4 Hey, and speaking of The Wire – I’m no legal expert, but isn’t this what Bodie would have called “one of them contrapment things”? Oh, well. even if Mayor Teddy gets out of this, there will still be plenty of family drama to enjoy. Looking forward to it!
- With flowing purple locks – I assume she borrowed one of Aubrey Peeples’s Jem wigs ↵
- I wonder what Leslie Knope would say about this. ↵
- Especially because he expected Zoey to drop her career and become his kept woman/housewife; I personally blame him for the fact that we never got enough Zoey songs ↵
- Apparently, Teddy ranks somewhere around Gunnar on the mixed feels scale. ↵