Mozart in the Jungle: Opening Night!!!

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

It’s Opening Night at the orchestra! Everybody put on your best clothes and try not to be skeeved out by the audience member who’s sharing your armrest.

This entire season has been leading up to opening night … what will the program be, and who will solo? Who is sleeping with whom? And how long will it take Hailey to get into Oboe Betty’s good graces? For better or worse, almost none of the answers are what you probably thought coming into this episode.

Maybe Acting Or Something

Alex is rethinking his dance career; he’s sick of punishing his body and thinks this is a good time to reevaluate. He suggests Hailey should do the same. Soes she REALLY think making tea and running errands for Rodrigo will get her onstage? She doesn’t appreciate the suggestion to give up on her childhood dream just because he’s unsure about his. Oboe Betty is predictable, but not unkind, in her further discouragement; Rodrigo is predictable, but not unkind, in his reminder that Oboe Betty isn’t in charge.

Rodrigo sends cars to bring each of the musicians to their opening night performance; he makes sure Oboe Betty’s car goes to the Hoboken Dinner Theater Playhouse instead of the music hall. He also calls Lizzie, gets her a ticket to the performance, and asks her to bring Hailey’s oboe “for a lesson.” Rodrigo asks Hailey politely if she will fill in the seat that just so happens to be open. When she expresses doubt he finally takes charge, cursing under his breath1 and ordering her onstage.

The performance begins, and to the surprise of many Ana Maria is doing a great job. Until she’s not. She insults Rodrigo (a pimp and a sellout), the audience (bourgeois pigs), and the orchestra (third-rate) before walking offstage in a huff. To save the evening, Rodrigo asks his first violin to play the solo, takes the empty violin seat for himself, and invites the former Maestro, Thomas (who is conveniently back from Cuba), to conduct.

Afterwards, everyone is in high spirits backstage. Hailey rushes to thank Rodrigo for the opportunity, and in the heat of the moment they kiss. Not, like, a little kiss — like ten seconds of making out and grabbing at each other. Then, just as quickly as it came, Rodrigo is pulled away and the moment is gone. Oboe Betty shows up to say “congratulations” and “you were okay.” Thomas and Cynthia chat; he swears he’s on the wagon, she swears she’s off the pills, and they move off-camera together as Union Bob looks … disappointed, but unsurprised. Alex (texted by Lizzie) also shows up; he comments on how inspiring her performance was. They kiss, but Hailey is noticeably stiffer in his arms, and the season ends with Rodrigo and Hailey staring longingly at each other across the room.

We’re Leaving (Odds and Ends)

Lizzie has plans for a World Tour, and she wants Hailey to go with her. She’s even bought suitcases and given away stuff from the apartment in preparation.

Union Bob understands it was “a one-time only thing” and promises not to spread rumors about his fling with Cynthia. It’s a little sad — he tells Cynthia it was one of the three best nights of his life — but Cynthia gracefully compliments his piccolo technique.

Marlon Guggenheim (of oboe / penis fame) is in the audience flirting and making sex jokes with an old woman.

Memorable Moments

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“I have a confession to make … I got this [vest] in Maui at a Rage Against the Machine concert.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

 

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“So sometimes we must navigate new waters.” “D’ya think so, tonight?”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

 

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“Oh crap.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

 

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“Now we’ve been through a lot, you and me, but I can’t [leave with you]. This is my orchestra.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

 

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“Slap me. Slap. Me. Hard.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

 

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“You were okay.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
  1. ‘ta madre  

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