5 Awesome Things About Scandal: #KinkySueForever

Scandal (Photo: ABC)

 

This week on Scandal, Lena Dunham, of HBO Girls fame, guest stars as a young woman with an axe to grind on, errr with, some of DC’s political elite.

This week on Scandal, Lena Dunham, of HBO Girls fame, guest stars as a young woman with an axe to grind. Which means we are finally back to a real Scandal and Gladiators and Bears, oh my!  Apparently Leo, yes Abby’s boyfriend/fixer/White House hand-holder was slipped a book manuscript by a friend.  Said manuscript, written by Suzanne Thomas (Dunham) shares inside secrets about Leo’s, ahem, sexual exploits, as well as those of a larger set of the DC faithful. As much as Ms. Thomas is in awe of the Bader Ginsburg-esque power Olivia Pope wields, she’s not about to keep quiet without a fight or a payday.

Meanwhile, Huck wants immunity for his comments on the record about B613 and he’s not afraid to go to Attorney General David Rosen and demand it. Later, Huck and Quinn enter Sue’s apartment only to see her being threatened by one of her former political beaus.  The guy is disarmed and leaves, but while Quinn is distracted HUCK SLITS SUE’S THROAT.  Did you see that coming? I didn’t! Understandably, Huck knew Sue might eventually talk and if he wants immunity from the Attorney General for his involvement with B613, then Rosen has go remain in his post and Sue’s treasure trove of secrets can’t be revealed.

Also of note, with her husband/President’s support, the First Lady is running for Senator from Virginia.  Maybe he’s giving his wife what she wants because he’s still keeping tabs on his mistress, ex-mistress, by way of Jake Ballard.

Hopefully you don’t, or didn’t, miss Liv’s moment of weakness, finally leaving her house and posted up on an upscale bar stool inviting a would-be suitor (played by Brian White, most notably seen in Stomp the Yard and Cabin in the Woods).  It’s all going fine until Liv steps into a restroom to freshen up and is overcome with hostage flashbacks before fleeing out of the bar’s backdoor.

‘No, I’m in charge now!’  You better Gladiate Abby!  Still, Abby loves Leo.  She loves him enough to resign her White House post because as a woman, in her position, if/when the book of sexy secrets comes out, people will write about her too.  And this ladies and gentle-gladiators is the double standard.  But don’t you just want Abby to flip her hair and be an independent woman?!

-‘The DustBuster, Leo is the DustBuster.’  Abby can’t even say it to Olivia’s face as she demands her bestie look away as she reveals one of Leo’s more famous ‘moves.’  I don’t even want to know what that means.  Ok, ok, I can guess, but I still don’t want to know.

What if Hannah Horvath moved to DC?  She’d change her name to Suzanne Thomas, rock pigtails, have lots of sex with lots of kinky politicians, and download apps like ‘Land o’ Kink,’ right?!

-When ex-B613 badass Charlie is brought in to be Sue’s decoy date so Huck can steal her manuscript, he almost blows his cover when his idea of ‘kinky’ turns to his real life work of literally nailing feet to floorboards and brushes with blowtorches.

-Apparently Sue details the proclivities of 17 men in her book, all with nicknames Pope & Associates has to decipher from her typewriter-written pages.  ‘The Dr’ isn’t a medical professional, it’s David Rosen.  Abby’s got SOME taste in men. #KinkyAbbyForever?

Not so awesome: Once we’ve resolved that Kinky Sue really just wanted revenge against her former boss who’s advances she rebuffed and who then fired her and kept her from getting a job elsewhere.  We find that Sneaky Cyrus is still in the market to buy a copy of the manuscript, ya know, just in case he ever has a use for the damaging information in it.

What The- Just Happened?! (This is a new level of Awesome we have never seen before!): That moment you realize HUCK SLIT HER THROAT.  Nooooo! Not Sue!

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About Sandra Smith 98 Articles

Sandra Smith is a graduate of Northwestern and Syracuse Universities where she wrote and studied and wrote. She currently earns her keep working on a variety of your favorite reality shows for HGTV, TLC, Discovery Channel, MTV and FUSE and dreaming of creating the next Law & Order. E-mail: sandra@whatelseison.tv

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