Mozart in the Jungle: An Oboe A Day Keeps the Creepshow Away

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)

You know a show is classy when it uses an oboe instead of a flute to make sexual jokes.

As we head into the homestretch of Season 1, Hailey finally gets some face-to-face time with Oboe Betty, and has to give an awkward lesson of her own. Rodrigo is struggling to make a decision, but Vizzini shows up to help. And after several weeks of wondering and taking crap from her colleagues about Thomas’ disappearance, Cynthia finds him drinking coconut water in Cuba. Because they definitely don’t have that in New York.

I’m Talking About the Truth And You’re Talking About My Face?!

The Orchestra is scheduled to have the “world’s greatest pianist,” Winslow Elliot (played by the one and only Wallace Shawn), play on opening night, but Rodrigo has changed his mind yet again. Elliot demands an explanation, but Rodrigo can only give him trite platitudes about following his heart. Rodrigo allows Elliot to hypnotize him, and in my favorite scene of the entire season, goes on an Willy Wonka tunnel / acid-like trip through his psyche. He decides that Anna Maria must be the soloist for his opening performance. They make up over sandwiches and agree to play together another time in the future.

Nobody’s Good Their First Time / The Gig Is Up

Hailey starts lessons with Oboe Betty, who starts her out on a Rubank lesson book1. For the ultimate disrespect, Betty listens and corrects in brief snippets as she walks around her apartment having a phone conversation. Meanwhile, Hailey receives a check in the mail from Marlon Guggenheim: $1K for two lessons. He brings a golden-keyed oboe with him; after a brief but nurturing lesson, he excuses himself to use the bathroom. While he uses the shower (?!), Lizzie comes in panicked — there ARE no Guggenheims from Connecticut. He’s a fraud, and has misread Hailey’s kind musical guidance for sexual foreplay. She goes in to confront “Marlon or whatever the fuck [his] name is,” finds him naked on her bed, and with Lizzie’s help kicks him out of the apartment. At least she got a golden-keyed oboe out of the deal — even if she does have to spend the evening disinfecting it.

First We Drinky, Then We Talky

Cynthia goes to Cuba to retrieve Thomas, who (according to his wife) ran out of meds two weeks ago and needs medical attention. Perhaps related: he is also asking for a divorce. She finds him on a beach, drinking coconut water and (badly) playing music with “his boys.” Frustrated after several weeks of taking shit from her fellow musicians, she rips into him. When he explains that he’s been musically creative and productive, she softens, leaving the medicine with him and asking that he come home soon.

Memorable Moments

Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“I DON’T WANNA PRACTICE ANYMORE MOMMYYYYYY!”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“Cynthia, you cheap two-bit homewrecking slut. (These are her words, not my words.)”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“Teach him, show him. Call him Marlon.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
“I’m not the one hiding my penis under an oboe.”
Mozart in the Jungle (Screen: Amazon.com)
  1. OH my lord there comes my entire childhood rushing back to me  

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