The Bachelor Rules of the Rose: Still A Country Boy

Becca makes a new friend on the Bachelor. The friend is not here to make friends.
The Bachelor (Photo: Richard Carlson / ABC)

This is week on The Bachelor we’re in cowboy, errrr crazy, country.

…continued from last week on The Bachelor…Kelsey is grounded. Literally she’s still on the ground having a potential panic attack. Then she asks for Chris and tells the medic with a laugh, ‘I better get a rose tonight.’ Rule of the Rose #1: Do THIS…and these.

Do realize that if The Bachelor is an Iowa farmboy, farm-man, you’re probably spending most of your time on a farm or a ranch. This week we’re in Deadwood, South Dakota. Sounds charming.

Do be Becca. I don’t know her, she doesn’t look familiar and seemingly has yet to really shine. This means Becca isn’t crazy, and crazy only gets you so far…unless you’re Kelsey.

Do look ‘good on a horse,’ you’ll be frequenting them on The Bachelor’s farm.

Do know that when The Bachelor asks you, Becca, what your five year plan is, he’d like it to include a farm, his farm, in Iowa, especially when he references the fact that you currently live in Southern California.

Don’t get a Two-on-one date. It sounds better and more intimate than the group dates, but it also means you’re competing against the other woman on your date and one of you is going home, like home-home, for good. Please don’t be on a two-on-one date with Kelsey, poor Ashley and cue Kelsey’s evil laugh.

Do also assume that with a country boy comes country music, this week country music super-duo Big & Rich swing by to help the women each write a song. Jade struggles as she ‘feels stupid’ trying to do something she doesn’t know how to. Welcome to television Jade. Say so long to your comfort zone.

As I say every season, Don’t, Ashley, use your two-on-one date to tell The Bachelor that Kelsey doesn’t gel with the group, even if he says he wants to be with the kind of woman who gels with a group, he also just really likes Kelsey…wait…surprise twist! Bye Kelsey!

And finally this week, make sure you Don’t lay it all on the table, there are still too many other women around it.

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About Sandra Smith 98 Articles
Sandra Smith is a graduate of Northwestern and Syracuse Universities where she wrote and studied and wrote. She currently earns her keep working on a variety of your favorite reality shows for HGTV, TLC, Discovery Channel, MTV and FUSE and dreaming of creating the next Law & Order. E-mail:
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