Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘Paradise Lost’

M: Oh, I was totally going to pick two! I thought you were being tricky! That last one you made up; it’s in line with her needing to read self help books. B and d.

T: D for sure. B is my hypothesis. And E is only sort of wrong. The Cranes “have differences of opinion,” re: Abraham. and are taking some time to “evaluate their marriage.” BUT surprise surprise! WHAT do we get to see Katrina do ??

M: I’m just picturing her making out with Abraham, except we see it switching back and forth between headed and headless versions, so half the time she’s just got her hands and lips moving around in empty space. Tell me that’s not a great image!

T: HAHAcoughsplutterteaeverywhere. No, what we get to see Katrina do is NOT make out with air. We get to see her do something else, entirely.

M: Cast a spell? Like, a real spell?

T: YES YES YES with WORDS and MAGIC and a BOWL and a MAGICAL CHARACTER written into the air!

M: Oooo!

T: (I meant “incantation” but “words” will do.) It’s sort of a lame spell, or lame in the sense that it never gets tested so we don’t know if it works – it’s a “no magic in here” spell… but no one else does magic so… uh…

M: Well, Henry, except, clearly he’s no longer ever ever a threat.

T: And this is a Henry-less episode, so who knows. Katrina saunters up to headed Abraham and tells him she thinks she can separate the horseman from the man.

M: Now, does she say it all sultry like?

T: I can’t tell when Katrina’s being sultry! It’s all breathless gasping anyway. So, her reason for helping Abraham: a) she loves him after all b) Ichabod would want this c) he had been so good to her and she wants to repay him d) she feels responsible for his turning to evil e) this will be her final revenge against Moloch.

M: D!

T: D!!! To which Abraham roars, “I DON’T WANT YOUR PITY”

M: <chain rattle chain rattle>

T: Pretty much

M: <fails audition for ‘A Christmas Carol’>

T: Blah blah blah blah there are some leaps in logic.

M: I’m stunned.

T: Abbie and Ichabod have this lovely conversation about how Ichabod has clearly been looking for reasons to continue fighting evil because he has no alternate plan for his life in the present.

M: That actually raises a question about his health given the 200 year skip in his timeline.

T: SERIOUSLY I need to know if he still father a kid with 200yr old sperm. I need to know this. I mean, I don’t. But I do. For future Crane-baby storylines.

M: ….

T: Can Ichabod and Katrina only produce world-destroyers? That would really throw a wrench into any sort of reunion…

M: You haven’t adopted a cat yet, right?

T: MOVING on. I know I watched this episode today but I’ve already forgotten how Ichabod finds out that Katrina wants to save Abraham. She tells him. but I don’t remember when.

M: Whatevs

T: He’s not happy about it, obviously, and Abbie is like “Uh, he killed Corbin. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.” And Crane is like, “wellll” and Katrina’s all, “for the sake of our marriage <wheeze> you must consider it <wheeze>” and Ichabod shrugs. “I shall consider it. But it is a heavy thought indeed.” Abbie: “HE KILLED CORBIN” … yes, there is trouble indeed in paradise.

M: Between everybody. Except Reyes.

T: Meanwhile, the maggoty apples farm is a site of potential interest. How they figure this out, I have no idea. Maggots = evil = the witnesses must go there.

M: Called it!

T: Of course they go there at night. What do they find?

M: One very evil looking tree?

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv