Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘The Akeda’

SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod (Tom Mison, L) and Frank Irving (Orlando Jones, R) prepare for war in the "The Akeda" episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Dec. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Brownie Harris/FOX
Sleepy Hollow (Photo: Fox)

Sleepy Hollow made it interesting at the end of its fall season. The *very* end.

Between travel schedules, ‘jobs’, and familial commitments, lovers of Sleepy Hollow Tanya and Mooch don’t always get the chance to watch an episode within the week after its initial broadcast. Fortunately, at least one of the pair does. Even more fortunately, the other of the pair is more than willing to make wild guesses as to what transpired.

This week’s transcript was edited for space, and one or more crazy Tanya theories.

The podcast may still occur, one of these days.

T: Heyyy.

M: Hiiiiii. I’m buying steam valves. Via eBay. It’s totally not sketchy.

T: I… what are those?

M: They’re for radiators.

T: ….not for hot air balloons. Siiiiiigh. Fine.

M: You do know that hot air balloons are not steam powered, right?

T: I have no idea what does power them, other than magic and the dreams of young children. This is also how I feel about trains.

M: … which are sometimes steam powered. So I see your confusion, although I do not accept it.

T: Reminder: I need to see Snowpiercer. You need to believe, Mooch, belieeeeeve! Tinkerbell would be so disappointed in you.

M: Did you read our coverage? I wasn’t even drinking and I was ready to let her go.

T: I read until you jumped ship for Gracepoint. I also didn’t watch the thing, so it was a bit confusing.

M: Obvious response: even if you did watch the thing…

T: Hehe.

M: Speaking of! Well, actually, this episode wasn’t too confusing…

T: Oooh yay! Linear storylines??! Actual plot?? Action that makes sense? Breathing??

M: Yes – although there was one flashback that I couldn’t place. Had we actually seen Henry’s army of zombie revolutionary war soldiers? Was that in an episode you watched?

T: I think we saw a flash to Irving as horseman of war, which maybe included a few zombie doodads fighting in the background, but I don’t remember.

M: This seemed to be something specific they’d encountered before, like Jenny and Ichabod were crouching behind a wall and these things were rising from the ground. But, really, it’s of little importance. There is a zombie army, we accept this as fact.

T: Yes. That was going to happen. (Can we spell it zombie armie?)

M: It is the only tru wae to do so, methinks. Predictions before we get into this? The action picks up right where last episode ended.

T: Okay. So. Prediction 1: negligible (if any) Reyes. Prediction 2: the return of Hawley. Prediction 3: Abraham loses his curls (alas!).

M: Do you mean ‘beheaded again’ or ‘gets a crew cut’?

T: I meant “goes bald” but I’ll take “beheaded again” if that’s an option. Prediction 4: the sword, it turns out, can only be wielded by… ZOMBIE GEORGE WASHINGTON; cue: conjuring. Prediction 5: Katrina tries, again, to kill the nasty baby-not-a-baby-any-longer thing and fails. Again.

M: Number 4 would have been the way to go. Or at least zombie Ben Franklin, and then we could get a Dr. McNinja tie-in.

T: I’m sure there’s something in the sword lore that pops up. I want a guest appearance by zombie Martha Washington next season – or Betsy Ross with the Needles of Doom.

M: Which is an underrated live album.

T: Also a Molly Pitcher cameo. Please. Please. Please.

M: Has she even been referenced?

T: Nope. THEY’RE SAVING HER. FOR LATER. DEPLOY THE MOLLY PITCHER! (It’ll be that awkward, I’m sure.)

M: Screaming early I see…

T: Well, when you’ve got to be heard across centuries…

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles

He does things. That’s all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv