Should any of the House of DVF candidates get the brand ambassador job? This week’s episode makes a strong case for “absolutely not.”
What I love about House of DVF (besides Diane Von Furstenberg) is that there is no guarantee that any of these candidates will land the brand ambassador job. Unlike The Apprentice, which announces the prize in every single episode, Diane has made it clear on several occasions that she hates this process and may consider this whole show a failed search and try again off-camera. After this week’s episode, I don’t blame here.
Here’s the situation: there’s some major horsey event taking place in the Hamptons and Jessica Joffe needs help with some client fittings and general social buzz. She hates this candidate process even more than Diane, but Jessica resigns herself to the fact that the candidates are her best option for assistance.
Here is a list of all the reasons why this turned out to be a terrible idea:
- Jessica calls Amanda to handle the logistics in New York. Amanda takes notes from what Jessica has to say—Hamptons, clothes, be there—but doesn’t ask any follow-up questions, such as “what time?” or “should we be in DVF when we arrive?”
- As the crew starts the drive, Lenore misses the first turn. If you have never driven in New York City, a miss like that can add days to your trip. Apparently none of the candidates have a working GPS app. It also doesn’t help that Amanda didn’t bring her charger, so her phone is dead.
- Jessica starts to stress because the candidates miss their scheduled arrival time. She tries to call her point of contact (Amanda) and immediately goes to voicemail. She eventually gets ahold of Kier, only to discover the crew is an hour and a half away from the venue. Guests start arriving about 20 minutes later.
- After Jessica expresses her disappointment with Amanda, the crew hastily assembles the display carts. Collections get mismatched, there aren’t enough hangers, and clients Becca Tobin (Glee) and Jessica White (model) watch in amused embarrassment.
- The fittings begin as Kier works with Jessica White. Brittany decides to move in on this client, since she is a stylist and Kier is a blogger. HEY. They put the model in a hot pink kaftan which…is a lot of look. Brittany adds glasses to the ensemble, but Jessica Joffe says it is too much. Brittany interviews that she doesn’t appreciate the critique.
- More clients arrive, there are moments when two clients are wearing the same prints (NO) and Brittany and Kier have the sense to go outside and bicker. I mean, they could choose to not bicker, but obviously it’s more important than working with clients who are IN THE NEXT ROOM WATCHING YOU FIGHT.
- After the fittings are done, Jessica brings in the candidates for a group shaming. After Jessica goes through her lengthy list of everything that went wrong, she does praise the candidates for pulling off a successful fitting. Brittany does the verbal equivalent of an eyeroll and Jessica calls her out immediately. Brittany tries to (non)apologize, but Jessica has had it. “You think you are so much farther ahead than you are,” Jessica responds, which is the perfect summation. Jessica is the best.
- Jessica and Stefani have a one-on-one with Brittany at the horsey thing. They tell Brittany her behavior was inappropriate and unprofessional (it was) and remind her that Jessica will be the point person for whoever ends up in the brand ambassador role. Brittany acknowledges that her ego got in the way and they all agree she needs to soften her edges.
- Despite Brittany trying to turn over a new leaf, she participates in an ill-conceived party the other candidates decide to throw at the house. Guests of the party invite some bros to the house and poolside antics ensue. There’s a lot of drinking and one of the guests, still wearing a DVF sample, decides to jump in the pool. Oh, and everyone was Instagramming and tagging the photos #DVF.
- You know who looks at the #DVF tag? DVF and her senior staff. “Oh leave me alone” is Stefani’s version of “STFU” and she says it many times in the next few minutes. Diane makes a surprise visit to the house the next morning to tell the candidates they are all almost out of the running. Kier takes this news particularly hard because she doesn’t believe Diane is seeing the real her. Kier says this is the hardest thing she has ever done, which causes DVF to scoff. “If this is the hardest thing you’ve ever done, you are not ready for life.” OH SNAP!
- That evening there is a much more subdued party around the pool. As the candidates chat, Brittany gets a call from Diane’s assistant asking her to stop by DVF’s house in East Hampton the next morning. Judging on the “Next time on House of DVF clips, we may be saying goodbye to Brittany in the next episode.