Juliette is in rare form at Winterville Nashfest, and she never even hits the stage.Right before they head to Australia to get married, Luke and Rayna record a TV Christmas special at her mansion. With no job, boyfriend or boyfriend’s kid to keep her busy, Zoey camps out on Deacon’s couch. Sadie and Gunnar are cowriting a song. When she asks if he knows a good producer, he mentions ZAG bandmate1 Avery. Then she offers to get ZAG in touch with her super fancy manager Noel. At the OB/GYN’s office, Juliette overhears Avery’s phone conversation with Gunnar and mistakes talk of a “hot” singer for a date set-up.2 Will and Layla are tired from promoting the reality show about their beard marriage, so they decide to take a break from everyday life. Gunnar calls a ZAG meeting and asks the band to get back together for the Winterville Nashfest3 gig he never cancelled. Noel will be there! This could be their big break!!
Rayna’s Rolling Stone cover story comes out, including all the juicy details about her dramatic relationship with Deacon. She uses every production break to call him so she can explain herself, but he’s already pissed off and ignoring her. Will and Layla dress like chill hipsters and head to Nashfest – she takes her guitar to the open mic tent while he drinks craft beer and flirts with a gay bartender. Formerly homeless singer Terry is performing at Nashfest (thanks to his white savior/ self-appointed manager Scarlett – BTW this story is THE WORST), but gets edgy when an interviewer asks about his dead family. Jealous, hormonal Juliette stalks Avery at Nashfest, so she can figure out who his new “girlfriend” is. Skeevy exec Jeff stumbles on Layla’s open-mic performance and is shocked by her newfound talent. Noel wants to set ZAG up with some shows on the road (even before he see them perform!) but Gunnar doesn’t want to leave Micah. The audience goes wild for Terry’s stellar performance, which causes him to have a nervous breakdown and fall off the wagon. This upsets Scarlett, but she’s not nearly as upset as Zoey (who is furious at Gunnar for shooting down the ZAG tour plan). Zoey bolts and Scarlett steps in to perform with ZAG. So I guess that makes them SAG? Sounds about right.
Here are five awesome things from last night’s Nashville
Juliette’s LOL hormonal outburst of the week First, there’s her “diguise” – giant black hat, big ol’ sunglasses, and a black scarf covering her face. She looks insane. Then there’s the image of super pregnant Juliette wearing this garb while zipping around an outdoor fest in her electric wheelchair. Super subtle, Jules. Then Avery and Sadie spot her, she snags her getaway scooter on a jewelry display and brings down several racks while trying to flee.
Ahhh, I really needed those LOLs. Thanks, show.
Deacon tells it like it is This Ruke Christmas special is busted from top to bottom, and of course it’s Luke’s idea4. It’s totally cramping Maddie and Daphne’s favorite traditions. Their home is a sound stage. Rayna’s makeup and clothes look weird. She spends every free moment regretting the Rolling Stone interview. Luke argues that it was a smart career move and she should get over it (hint).
Deacon drops by to give Maddie a gift and Rayna corners him. She explains she had to sell him out so the reporter wouldn’t talk about Maddie making out with Luke’s son Colt. Completely befuddled, all Deacon can say is, “I don’t know why you live your life this way.” You mean, inauthentically and committed to a douchebag? Me, neither!
Zoey peaces out Of course, Gunnar’s just using the ZAG reunion to lure Zoey back into a relationship (hence his lukewarm commitment to the band’s future). This makes Zoey angry.
Zoey: You would rather me play mom to your kid than play music. No thank you.
Gunnar: Wow, I had no idea you could be so incredibly selfish.
Zoey: If it’s selfish to not want to be tied to your responsibilities then, yeah, I guess I’m selfish.
And then she leaves.
On behalf of all ladies who ever dated a dude that believed “be my girlfriend” should be life goal #1, GO ZOEY!
Juliette pulls a Rayna Juliette is usually way better at self destruction than making things right, but she surprises us this time. After acting like a crazy lady, she invites Highway 65 labelmate Sadie over for a civilized discussion about Avery. Of course, Sadie wants nothing to do with them or their baby drama. Juliette begs her to hire Avery anyway because it’s a smart career move for both of them. And then she promises to mind her own business and not let her lunacy get in the way. It works! Sadie hires Avery. When he comes by to thank Jules later, she goes the extra mile and promises to be cool whenever he starts dating other women. Which better not happen. DON’T BE A FOOL, AVERY! THAT MATERNAL GLOW!
The super icky montage Ruke are getting ready to shoot the last song for their special, when he mentions that maybe this facacta production can be their family’s new holiday tradition. Rayna grits her teeth and says, “Sure, Babe”.5 The camera rolls and they break into “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” a.k.a. the date rape Christmas song. It’s a perfectly ominous soundtrack for the montage that follows – first we see Will (who just got shot down by the bartender-with-a-boyfriend) go home to find his best beard bud Layla is not waiting for him, then we see Layla in bed with Jeff (EWW!), then we see Zoey leaving town forever (more sad for me than her), and finally we see Deacon angrily tearing a Rayna tour sticker off his guitar case (because she done told him it’s really, really over and he needs to move on). So much sadness and ick, so perfectly scored.
- Zoey, Avery and Gunnar, get it? ↵
- Total Three’s Company moment – thanks, writers!! ↵
- This name is so goofy. Is it really gonna make people forget that the mayor’s wife was murdered at last year’s holiday concert event? ↵
- He says it’s for charity, but we all know it’s mainly for self-promotion ↵
- The way she says “Babe”, so taut with pent-up rage – I LOVE it! ↵