Checking in with the RHOA (Real Housewives of Atlanta)

The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Photo: Laura Magruder / Bravo)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Photo: Laura Magruder / Bravo)

As we check in with the Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA), we are reminded of several constants, Plonk!

As we check in with the Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA), we are reminded of several constants: Nene is still Queen Bee, Porsha still gets no respect, Apollo is still a felon and Kenya still needs outside friends.

Not sure if there are 12 steps to going to prison, but Apollo takes one step in admitting he lied about Kenya making certain advances on him.  With he and Phaedra headed to divorce’s door, Kandi break’s Apollo’s admission to his estranged wife.  Which means, now Phaedra has to break all kinds of Real Housewives of Atlanta protocol and actually be “woman enough” (we’re not sure what that means, but we ARE sure Nene will tell us when it’s time for us to know) to apologize to Kenya.  However, I’m not holding my breath for that one-on-one to ever actually happen.

Over on lover’s lane.  Kandi and Todd are now having conversations they should have had before they vowed to spend their lives together.  You know, things like how many houses Kandi can or shoudl buy her mom, or involved Todd thinks he should be in their future baby’s life and when to have said baby, or how to raise his daughter who has moved into their home from New York, or how Kandi is raising her own daughter. Because yes it IS awkward and no you SHOULD NOT talk about how much of an allowance to give the kids, in FRONT of the kids.  You see, Todd’s daughter Kayla and Kandi’s daughter Riley do not get along, at all.  Kandi keeps talking about an age difference, but really Riley is only a few years younger than Kayla.  For her part, Kayla is clearly used to a simple life in NYC, whereas Riley thinks $100 a week for straightening up her room is appropriate.  The battle begins.

New Housewife Claudia Jordan has officially moved to the ATL, she and Kenya make up one dynamic duo.  She’s a model, Celebrity Apprentice contestant, morning show host and Miss USA Contestant.  Read: NOT Miss America.  She’s conquered LA, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island and Dubai…so get ready Atlanta.

Kenya quotes Shakespeare.

Porsha has a man friend because according to Nene she’s driving a Rolls Royce but her doorbell doesn’t work. Plonk!

In the epic final five minutes, Porsha and her Rolls Royce are an hour late for a “One-on-one” with Cynthia.  Cynthia is not happy that she’s had to wait, but she’s patient, or a producer begged and pleaded for her to stay and then breathed a sigh of relief when Porsha arrived.  Apparently Porsha requested the meeting because Cynthia has been saying both positive AND negative things about her reunion run-in with Kenya.  You know, that time Kenya used a bull horn and Porsha nearly de-weaked her that culminated in Kenya calling the police and everyone saying Porsha was provoked.  Well, at least Cynthia said she was provoked, and then says she WASN’T provoked and thus Porsha isn’t happy.  Cynthia admits that’s what she said and has mixed feelings and probably watched the reunion again and came to different conclusions.  I personally think Porsha was just mad that she wasn’t invited to Cynthia’s party where everyone else found out Apollo lied about Kenya and has realized she’s out of the loop.  For her part Cynthia says that Portia needs to get it together and stop worrying about her RADIO interviews and worry more about how dumb all of the other Housewives insist Porsha is, on the Radio, TV,  Social Media and the list goes on.  And at that Cynthia is off and strutting out of the establishment and out of what’s left of the friendship…until they both find someone else to throw shade at.

Terms of the day:

One-on-one: Housewives-speak for two Housewives of any season meeting each other at a specific location, usually a not-too-chic restaurant where the plan is to discuss why they had a falling out which really becomes a lot of name calling and finger pointing until one Housewife gets up and walks out.  This event is typically followed, episodes later, by the scorned (could be either) Housewife realizing that she really hates a second housewife more.  Then she and the first Housewife have another one-on-one to talk about what each did wrong, come to a conclusion that both were wrong, but not as wrong as this other Housewife who now must be discussed ad nauseam and actively hated for the rest of the season.

Plonk!: Nene-speak for “Girl, please!”

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About Sandra Smith 98 Articles
Sandra Smith is a graduate of Northwestern and Syracuse Universities where she wrote and studied and wrote. She currently earns her keep working on a variety of your favorite reality shows for HGTV, TLC, Discovery Channel, MTV and FUSE and dreaming of creating the next Law & Order. E-mail: sandra@whatelseison.tv
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