Town of the Living Dead wraps up with some help from Freddy Krueger, but not before Tina & Co. very nearly kill one of the best characters on the series.
In episode 11 (“Robert Englund to the Rescue”) of Town of the Living Dead, Robert Englund convinces John to return and finish Thr33 Days Dead’s shoot. Unfortunately, Mr. Englund steps on John’s toes when he hijacks directorial duties during John’s big death scene.
Tina & Co. have to wrap up their six year shoot in one week in episode 12 (“That’s a Wrap!”). Tensions are running high, especially when zombie extras do not show up for the final scene on the final day of shooting. Deciding they need a little help from The Big Guy in the Sky, Bryan leads the group in prayer. That was all that Jesus and the Syfy producers needed to hear, because the zombie extras flood in and the gang wraps up filming – but not before very nearly killing someone.
Film school thoughts
I’m not trying to beat a dead horse, but again, there are reasons that stunt men, stunt coordinators, and just the entire stunt industry exist. The gang decides it’s a great idea to slingshot Chance into a lake. They end up sending him into the lake and then the hospital. All I could think of during this scene were the types of insurance policies I learned about in film business class and whether the Syfy producers on set asked each other at the moment Chance was floating facedown in the water, “Did we remember to include ‘death’ in the policy?! Did we?!” Thankfully, that wasn’t needed. Chance survived, only suffering six broken ribs from his flight and a pixilated crotch from sitting spread eagle in his wheelchair in a hospital gown outside the hospital. Lord love ya, Chance.
Stop digging; we’ve struck gold
Laura develops a mad crush on Robert Englund. She goes above and beyond to make sure he has everything he wants, even if that means running an errand. I mean that literally: when Robert Englund asks for a Starbucks drink, Laura is not phased by the fact that Jasper doesn’t have any coffee shop whatsoever, much less a Starbucks. Homegirl literally runs into a supermarket, runs out carrying supplies, and scrambles to concoct a coffee drink. She then nearly loses it when a thankful Robert Englund bestows a kiss on her forehead. The genuine fangirl reaction she has is both hysterical and heartwarming.
Bless your heart
John, much like Rodney Dangerfield, don’t get no respect. A large part of this is probably due to the fact that John voices his objections to the camera rather than the people who are trying to seize his power, like Tina and Robert Englund1. John seems like he’s struggling with maintaining his Southern social graces and being the hard ass he should be sometimes when things are going off the rails with shooting. The few times he ever does raise his voice, no one really listens to him. Bless your heart, John, you try, but you’re going to have be more assertive if you want to be a director and have people listen to you.
Bryan: Storyboards! What a unique idea! Maybe if we did this six years ago, this movie would be done by now.2
Bryan: I really do love going to the day spa, but, in this case, I have an ulterior motive. Once I get John nice and relaxed, I’ll get what I want.3
John: We can’t just start smashing cars in the middle of a zombie movie. My name’s not Michael Bay, and this isn’t Transformers.
Chance: You think Michael Bay thinks about a script? He just puts Transformer dinosaurs in there because they’re awesome.4
- although, as a kid who grew up fearing Freddy Krueger, I probably wouldn’t say anything to him either ↵
- Can Syfy (or anyone) give Bryan his own show where he just goes around sarcastically commenting on people’s lives? Because I’d definitely watch that show. ↵
- JOHN, DON’T DRINK ANYTHING BRYAN OFFERS YOU!! ↵
- Chance, I think I’ll miss you most of all ↵