Improbable? Index: The Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 5 – Self Help

Abraham doesn't get mad: he get's stabby on the Walking Dead.
The Walking Dead (Photo: Gene Page / AMC)

The Walking Dead thankfully returns us to the story of people we actually care about. And Abraham.

We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.

“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap

The bus gets busted up (courtesy of Eugene’s tampering), but our intrepid gang of heroes continues to Washington. After delays in a bookstore and a fire truck, they encounter a giant herd that seems impassable to everyone but stubborn-ass Abraham. The ensuing fight makes Eugene admit that he isn’t a scientist after all. LOL sry I lied 2 u guyz. Abraham punches Eugene out, possibly dead. Next week, we return to Carol and Daryl!

 

Mildly Improbable

Abraham’s cherry-red dye job is probably pretty tough to keep up.

Abraham: “I really need some ass.” Cut to the ass currently in progress, with Eugene lurking nearby watching. I guess when internet porn is unavailable, people will get their jollies some other way. Sadly, Glenn’s attempt to “get ass” from Maggie is rebuffed.

Pretty Improbable

Nobody had thought to ask Eugene about his mullet before today?

Tara to Eugene: “You killed the bus?” How in God’s name did she say that with a straight face?

Extremely Improbable

It is generally a terrible idea to drive super-fast in uncharted territory, but even stupider to do so in the zombie apocalypse. Still, there is no way a blown tire would lead to flipping an entire bus over unless Abraham had been driving 80 mph.

The group wonders what that terrible smell is that is wafting on the breeze. How do they even distinguish individual terrible smells at this point? Everything on the planet smells like dead bodies, rotting food, and B.O.

YEAH, RIGHT

Eugene blowing walkers’ heads off with a fire hose is stupid, even for this show. The lousy water pressure would barely dissolve a marshmallow in the real world, let alone a human skull.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles
After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting "Whodunnit?" One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv
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