Bravo’s Euros of Hollywood is an in-depth look at immigration through the lens of the American entertainment industry. Just kidding: it’s your typical cable cat-fighting with accents.
I received a message in my Facebook inbox a few weeks ago from my friend Tim who works as a reality television editor. After seeing our Love Prison, coverage he wanted to give me a heads up on another show that might be worth checking out: Euros of Hollywood. The show premiered Monday night on Bravo and it should have checked my boxes. As a Europhile interested in the continent’s music industry, the story of six people trying to make it big in Hollywood and the American industry sounds fascinating. Maybe I could overlook that it was a Bravo show?
Nope. It’s another group of self-absorbed asshats with interesting accents. Here’s the quick rundown:
- Massimo, an aspiring actor from Italy who frames everything in terms of how stupid Americans are. “All they wear are flip flops and khaki pants.”1 Also baffled by Target. Not cool.
- Fawni, an aspiring pop star from Austria who had a hit in Japan. She used to be married to her former manager but cheated on him (rather unapologetically) and her career fizzled after losing representation.
- Bleona, who describes herself as the Madonna of Albania, is the epitome of the show’s Bravo-ness. “I thrive on drama” she says while trying to deal with…everybody? I find her exhausting.
- Sascha, a German DJ and producer who works with Bleona. He also has a clothing line called Rockstars and Angels. Sascha did not frame his behaviors or attitudes through his German background, so he came off as the least caricature-like of the show’s participants.
- Jannik owns a successful jewelry line with stores in Hollywood, New York, and his native Denmark. Within 30 seconds of his introduction he informs us that he does shave his chest and Netherlands, er, nether lands but draws the line at anal bleaching.2 So…there’s that. I’m not sure if he or Bleona will be the worst, but we also haven’t seen the two interact. God help us all.
- Isabel is a promoter from Sweden who happens to be married to a guy from Swedish House Mafia. She’s working with Fawni and hosts a dinner party at the end of episode one, but so far not much has happened with her.
Without the dinner party, it was rather unclear how these people even interact with each other. Massimo and Fawni are friends3 but there is no obvious connection with Sascha/Jannik/Bleona. Jannik and Bleona are connected through Sascha, but that doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. Like with the Real Housewives, I’m not sure how many of these relationships would exist without the show. Nor do I care to find out.
At this point, Euros of Hollywood does not seem to have a point of view, other than to show that people with 85-95% idiomatic English can also be screeching garbage monsters. Bravo?