When you head your desk, your desk heads you. Or something. It’s Sleepy Hollow; don’t search for explanations.
Between travel schedules, ‘jobs’, and familial commitments, lovers of Sleepy Hollow Tanya and Mooch don’t always get the chance to watch an episode within the week after its initial broadcast. Fortunately, at least one of the pair does. Even more fortunately, the other of the pair is more than willing to guess wildly about what actually happened.
This week’s transcript was (barely) edited for space, and several sidebars on loose ends from every other episode this season.1
The podcast may still occur, one of these days.
M: Whenever you’re ready.
(Some time passes.)
M: Actually, just text when you’re ready – I’m back and forth from the computer.
(More time passes. The hour actually grows quite late. Dinner is cooked. Part of a Storage Wars marathon is watched. Most hope that another human being will show sustained interest in this manic television production is given up for lost.)
T: Hey hey. Sorry: just got in.
M: Say, who won best costume in the office?
T: Uhhhhhh. Jill was a Steeler, Tom was Superman (his kids called him SuperDaddy!!!), Kris was Clark Kent, and tore her shirt open to reveal Superman!
M: …as in, Tom was hiding in her clothes?
T: Yes, exactly. It was very awkward for all of us.
M: Right, Kris didn’t use a breathable fabric, Tom almost passed out…
T: An office tragedy in one act.
M: So you want to do this this evening, or have we already crossed over into night?
T: Let’s call it evening and, um, pretend that I’m timely.
M: We always pretend you’re timely.
T: This is true. So, I’m staying in Ithaca with a college friend, who just wandered by and said “Yeah that wendigo episode was pretty bad. Last season was so much better.”
M: Welllllll…. it isn’t terrible in various facets, but it’s weird in most others.
T: Meh. ANOTHER monster of the week. IS there a halloween tie-in?
M: Not explicitly. Actually, not at all – I think they’re really avoiding any references to the holiday.
T: That could be a good thing, no? Though you’d think Katrina would have something for Samhain.
M: But then the writers would have to research something else.
T: But she’s a WITCH. Research that. Before you say anything else, I want to jump a bit. DO we find out about the hellfire shards in this episode?
M: … Uhh. If we did, I did not notice.
T: Good thing my hopes weren’t up…
M: I don’t think Katrina has so much as a line, though she does appear.
T: Does she gasp?
M: Yes, but not how you’re thinking. We will get to that.
T: IS SHE A DRAGON?
T: YET. you mean she’s not a dragon YET. Okay. Moving on.
M: So… I’ll just go through my notes largely in order. I found the episode to be generally fine if not very engaging, You have all these well-hit beats and moments scattered about – but really scattered – beginning with the yoga scene teased in trailers for the last several weeks.
T: Oh. I haven’t watched any trailers. Please tell me Ichabod likes deep breathing exercises and Lululemon pants.
M: Really? They’ve been everywhere – including in other episodes of Sleepy Hollow. First query of the eve – he is familiar with the traditions of the eastern religions or some such, but takes issue early with Abbie’s use of the term ‘buns’ (as in, ‘we’re strengthening our’)
T: Oh Ichabod…
M: I’m just going to make this an open question, no choices – what wonderful quaint expression does he use to refer to glutes?
T: Does he call it the posterior? The gluteus?
M: No, a slang term – posterior would be too proper. Not that this is bawdy.
M: Snerk. Is that a term people once used?
T: Yes. Rear? Rump? Buttocks? Bum? Derriere is too French…
M: Far too French.
T: Tail? Rearside? Rear end?
M: I didn’t look up whether this is accurate or not, but he says ‘double jugs’.
T: NO. HAHAHAHAHA oh dear. oh DEAR. Oh Ichabod. well, it’s better than dilberry maker.
M: Right… After their workout they head to that bar that’s become the bar they head to and we find that Ichabod really likes beer.
T: Right; Hawley’s bar.
M: Yes. That one.
T: Ugh does he make a double jugs joke about the St. Pauli’s girl? Or does he diatribe on Sam Adams again? Does he get in on craft beer? Does he hate Guinness? Does he love Guinness?
M: Neither, he makes a really good toast (which he says he lifted from Franklin) and just looks utterly blissed out as he downs the glass.
T: Does he hate IPAs? Oh – okay then.
M: We would probably get that level of dissection, except then the plot starts happening.
T: Siiiiigh. Fine then, writers, don’t give me what I want.
M: (I’ll avoid a cheap joke there.) The plot starts in the form of a scuffle across the room that Abbie goes to break up.
M: One of the ruffians is ‘Joe?!’ who looks unhappy to see Abbie. When is anyone happy to see Abbie, though?
T: True. Except Ichabod. Even katrina’s like, “eh”. Wait, is “Joe?!” what Abbie says?
M: Pretty much.
T: And then she shakes her head like she can’t believe her own mouth.
M: … yeah, that seems about right. If it didn’t actually happen, it subtextually happened. Joe’s back from Afghanistan, and snides at Abbie that he expected her to be gone – ‘What happened to Quantico? Couldn’t leave all this behind?’ is the actual quote.
T: Uhhhhhhhhh – ex? Sneering high school competitor? A guy she bested at police academy? Neighbor that she had a huge crush on but who never acknowledged her?
M: You’re going where I’m headed – she soon explains to Ichabod that she babysat Joe for a few years.
M: And he loved wearing Superman pajamas.
These are the wrong details, writers. The. Wrong. Details.
M: (this gets us to a brief aside where Ichabod tries to remember which secret identity goes with which superhero, so apparently he’s been introduced to comics)
T: Oh well then, that’s better. Is he a DC or Marvel guy? Or, heavens help us, Archie?
M: There’s an exchange I want to see. “How anyone would consider Veronica to be the superior selection is beyond me.”
M: “And do not get me started on this jug-headed fellow.”
T: “What name is this, Moose? And I cannot like Reggie.” Why was Jughead named that anyway?
M: It was the 40s, there were a lot of drugs. Anyway, the point is the Superman thing is an excuse for Ichabod to gently reassure Abbie that things will turn out all right for Joe, because “Once a hero, always a hero.”
T: Why does she need to be reassured about him? It seems like he needs to be reassured about her. Like, “Silly Joe, I used to babysit you and I can still put you in the corner.”
M: Well, there’s the fighting, plus they’re responding to a report of several trucks – including Joe’s – parked illegally out in the woods. Where we have just seen the Wendigo creepily and hungrily watching several dudes hanging out and drinking.
T: Oh okay. There’s reason beyond him sneering that she hasn’t left. Please tell me there’s a Supernatural crossover. (I know that isn’t happening, but it would be awesome.) a) how do they ID the wendigo? b) which archive do they dig out more info from? c) how is the Wendigo tied to Ichabod’s past? d) when does Hawley get involved?
M: All will be answered. Several with additional questions. The duo pulls up and the wendigo actually gets caught in the headlights and bounds out of the way, scaring the hell out of both. They follow creepily large animal footprints towards the trucks, find people torn open…
T: Right, because the wendigo is linked to cannibalism.
M: Si. And now I must ask you – is Joe tragically dead, thus motivating dear Abbie?
T: OH NO is there a link to the horseman of famine??! Um, no. Abbie is motivated as is; she doesn’t need another dead friend to get her fired up
M: That horseman thing would have made SO MUCH SENSE.
T: Oh boo. Okay then. I’m still going with no: Joe is not dead.
T: So the wendigo, as a thing, is a cautionary tale for moderation and control. Whoever this wendigo is, we’ve got greed, corruption, excess, and flesh-eating – wouldn’t it be great if the wendigo was Reyes?!
T: Like, BOOYA thinking she had a link to the Mills’ backstory! …but I’m guessing that isn’t what happened.
- We miss you, Kindred, wherever you are. ↵