T: Though. I wonder. Maybe Ichabod will take CPR classes and one day he will be all “hey Katrina, let me show you this modern thing I learned” and then she’ll BREATHE.
There really wasn’t enough time for a Hair + Mills moment – instead it was “Oh Leftenant you LIVED how did you LIVE you were DEAD and wait what’s in your hand??”
M: Yes, quick, advance the plot at the expense of deepening a relationship between characters.
T: Uh-huh. In her hand is a little piece of cloth that Abbie brought back with her from the Weeping Lady – and this piece of Scottish lace is OF COURSE familiar to Ichabod.
M: It’s a very distinctive pattern…
T: His recognizing things? Yes.
M: No, the lace.
T: That too.
M: (That was a half-hearted reference to Leverage.)
T: (Which I haven’t seen since episode 3.)
(i have ladybugs, btw. they are buzzing about)
(you needed to know that)
So the lace is CLEARLY the same lace that Mary wore the day she arrived in America to take Ichabod back to England, where he would realize his love for her and his wrongness in supporting the colonial cause. But uh, Ichabod’s like, yeah no, these colonials rock and are right to boot! and Katrina ::moony eyes::
M: Blah blah spurned lover, blah blah somehow becomes a vengeance demon but not as interesting as Anya…
T: Yeah. So anyway then Ichabod’s like, Mary! She’ll be after Katrina! ARGH! So off they go to rescue Katrina.
M: Which was Henry’s plan all along!
T: Yurp. And Hawley’s like, here have a gun from me, it’s a crossbow, it mighta been Van Helsing’s or somebody but it’ll kill anything. Wink wink at Abbie. Long story short, Katrina gets got by the Weeping Lady but she’s [Katrina] a witch so she gets away. Ichabod nearly wets himself with fear over losing her like this
M: Run run run, trap trap trap kaboom goes the crossbow.
T: The crossbow is INEFFECTIVE.
M: Gasp! Twist!
T: And then Katrina uses Abbie to help her cast a dark spell on Mary and voom! vanquished.
M: Hawley is later forced to admit he might have gotten ripped off on the whole crossbow deal.
T: Nah, they’re not that into following the Hawley story line.
M: Abbie’s got a bit of the witch in her, eh?
T: A witness will do in a witch’s stead, apparently.
M: Ah, of course. It’s in the rule book somewhere.
T: But anyway, Mary counts as a “sin” for Katrina because she died in Sleepy Hollow and Katrina wrote Ichabod a letter [back in the day] with Mary’s handwriting indicating that she made it back to England and was fine, for some convoluted reason. So there is maybe a teensy bit of doubt now in Ichabod’s mind about the Goodness of Katrina?
M: Does using dark magic have any impact on poor, breathless Katrina?
T: No: Katrina’s lungs are exactly the same. ::wheeze::
M: Are we done yet? this episode sounds verrrry blah.
T: Three things now happen. Guess who is involved or what they are, and then we’re done.
M: Hawley and Abbie have a conversation about her and Ichabod, but not at all about her and Ichabod. Two, Henry and Abraham mutter together. Three, Ichabod and Jenny go for cappuccino (she lets him drive) and she winds up shooting someone.
T: I wish those were true. Howevs – Abraham comes roaring up on his Apocasteed and nearly beheads Ichabod right there, but Katrina’s stops him with a well-placed, “NO, he just saved me!” and Abraham’s like, “okay, I can’t kill the guy who just saved the woman I love. Let’s go back to the house now.”
M: Sounds fair.
T: Event 2: Moloch is VERY unhappy with Henry bc of the Weeping Lady. We learn that Katrina must be turned but not harmed; she is a Hellfire Shard. A vessel of some real import. (And no: we don’t know what a Hellfire Shard is.) (or how many there are) (MYSTERY)
M: Oh, right, I thought they wouldn’t want to have to pay for the makeup job on Moloch again until the season finale.
T: Soooooooo I’m guessing the breathlessness is going to get worse.
M: Maybe she’ll start breathing… FIRE!
T: SHE’S A DRAGON. Oh that would be wicked.
M: I don’t have HBO, so I’d be cool with that development. Though I’d expect her to be dragon-adjacent in an episode where there is a dragon.
T: We’ll see.
M: Anyway last thing last thing so we can put this terrible week behind us.
T: Jenny drops by Hawley’s boat to be all “your crossbow sucks dude.” and he’s all “oops.” and she’s all “wanna make out?” and he’s like, “nah, we’re done with that brah” SLEEPY HOLLOW IS NOW OFFICIALLY A SOAP OPERA
M: I… that makes more sense than Hawley/Abbie.
T: And Jenny’s like “really? because SMOOCH” – it’s supposed to be a Startling Revelation.
M: Hawley is a gentleman of course and does not refuse the smooch.
T: Of course not. and Jenny shimmies on off his boat thing (is it a boat? is it a wharf-house? is it stable?) and that. was. that.
M: There hasn’t been enough face sucking in this show so far. I want to make that clear. Sleepy Hollow: Too many Monsters, Not Enough Face Sucking.
Writers, please do not write a face-sucking monster as a result of this comment pleaseandthankyou.
T: Sleepy Hollow: Too Shallow Breathing For This Paltry Face Sucking.