Survivor San Juan Del Sur: “We’re a Hot Mess”

Jon tries to catapult Hunahpu to victory on Survivor San Juan Del Sur
Survivor San Juan Del Sur (Photo: Monty Brinton / CBS)

Survivor: San Juan Del Sur Episode 4  — The episode title isn’t an exaggeration: this season of Survivor is a hot mess.

Previously on Survivor San Juan Del Sur: John Rocker was voted out. Boo hoo?

Prologue

Coyopa Night 8: Baylor is super-excited that John is gone and is looking forward to a more positive Survivor experience. With the sexism amped up to 11 this season, I’m not so sure this will be the case and I am already dreading the unmitigated awfulness of this year’s jury. Dale is less enthusiastic about the new dynamic on the tribe since he is now the odd man out in the group. Well, he’s always been odd man out, but there are fewer alternatives to swoop in and get voted out in his place.

Hunahpu Day 9: Natalie tends the morning fire and notices something next to the firepit. It’s the piece of flint that was lost a couple episodes ago. Seriously? Drew suggests trying to use the new flint to barter with Jeff to get some supplies. SERIOUSLY?! Everyone tells Drew that’s a dumb idea. This will be a theme.

Challenge Arena

Hunahpu applauds as they see Coyopa enter the arena without a certain former baseball player. Julie says seeing her partner gone hurts, but she’s not surprised by this outcome so she’ll just have to roll with it. Before Probst can get to the challenge description, Drew interrupts to try to barter with Jeff. Sorry: no refunds. At least this time we are spared a lecture cribbed from Getting to Yes.

This week’s challenge will have the players using a grappling hook to snag three bags with balls inside. Once the bags are collected, the players have to catapult them into baskets about 20 feet away. First to get a ball in each basket avoids Exile Island and has the choice of comfort items (from last week’s Arena) or a campfire feast.

Jon and Jaclyn are the lucky ducks to face off in the challenge. The two are basically tied throughout, though Jaclyn does waste time reacting to in-and-out shots. Jon has a major slip when reloading the catapult, but he recovers and fills his baskets first. He’s bummed that he’s sending his girlfriend to Exile, but Jaclyn says she’ll be fine as long as the storms hold off. Probst would rather she be all woe is me because her ladyparts must make it impossible to overnight it, but Jaclyn says Jon not being overly concerned means she isn’t being undermined. Suddenly I am thrilled Jaclyn was my pre-show pick to win. Jon sends his BFF Drew to Exile and Hunahpu takes the comfort items to camp.

Camp Life

Hunahpu: Jon interviews he isn’t 100% happy about the win, but he trusts Drew will do right by Jaclyn on Exile. Guh, this season is so friggin’ sexist. Jon wins back an ounce of respect by saying Jaclyn will probably be taking care of Drew, but there is still the undertone of “no one better mess with my woman.” Anyway, as the tribe enjoys their new comfort items, Keith decides to take a trip to the well to do some idle idol-hunting. He reports in an interview that he spent about a half hour looking and couldn’t find it, so Jeremy probably beat him to it. Reed catches Keith hunting, so Keith tells him his suspicions. Reed tells Jeremy and now the whole camp is buzzing over the gossip. Jeremy is particularly miffed since Keith blew an opportunity to align with him. Jeremy could use a reminder that an alliance with everybody is worse than an alliance with nobody. Later, Keith decides to poke around some more and finds the Hidden Immunity Idol. Whoops. Keith keeps his mouth closed this time.

Exile: Drew gets the Idol clue, but both suspect that their camps’ respective idols are long gone. Instead, we find out from Jaclyn that Alec called his brother a “lady’s man,” which Drew doesn’t deny. He tells her that he and Jon are the alphas of Hunahpu and pretty much have this game wrapped up. Ummmmm. Drew then interviews that he wants to throw the next immunity challenge so that he can clear out some of the dead weight on his tribe. UMMMMMMMM, okay Nappy McSleepsallday. Jaclyn smiles and nods because what else can you do in that situation?

Coyopa: Day 10. Alec and Baylor get a treemail message. Baylor yanks the message out of Alec’s hand so she can read it, then the two bicker about who gets to read it to the tribe. Alec then shares how Baylor is just like Drew in that his dad lets Drew get away with everything and it is NOT FAIR. I’m not exaggerating: that’s how that little stream of consciousness meandered. Baylor (20) and Alec (22) are the two youngest people in the cast, but jeezy creezy, grow up both of you.

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Mike has been writing about TV online since 2008, when he started the blog WTF Little House on the Prairie? The blog was a project to practice writing about television analytically prior to getting an MA in Television-Radio-Film from Syracuse University, or as he likes to call it “TV Camp.” After a lengthy stint at TVLatest, Mike wanted to launch a site that brought in classic TV, diamonds in the rough, and the shows everybody watches. E-mail: mike@whatelseison.tv