Episode 5 of The Killing is trying to become Lord of the Flies and, to no one’s surprise, is failing miserably.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
With the discovery of Skinner’s body in the lake, Reddick’s crusade to earn his merit badge in detecting kicks into overdrive. Reddick, in a discount performance as Hank from Breaking Bad, informs Linden that he knows she and Holder are directly responsible for killing Skinner, who Reddick now knows was a serial killer. Reddick approaches Holder and tries to convince Holder to turn on Linden, who happens to overhear this conversation. The stress of knowing they are probably going to be caught soon causes Holder and Linden to argue more than usual. These brief interludes are the only glimpses of the former glory The Killing used to produce on a weekly-basis. R.I.P. compelling stories.
On the flip side, you have the Kyle storyline where logic Thelma & Louise-ed right over a cliff while giving the audience the middle finger. After the most disturbing scene of the whole series [more of that later], Kyle suddenly remembers more about the day his family was murdered. He snaps, punches one of his tormentors, and runs to the headmistress. When he sees toy soldiers in her office that are the exact same toy soldiers as the ones his father gave him every year on his birthday, he pulls a gun on the headmistress. She talks Kyle out of shooting her, but he punches her and runs out of her office into the nearby woods. His tormentors pursue Kyle with other cadets following, and they literally hunt him. I just… I’m so close to throwing up my hands with this series. This series used to be about how complex relationships and personal motivations are, and now it’s about creating cliffhanger endings for each episode.
The magic-bullet returns!
Kyle informs Jerkface McUntuckedShirt that he’s beginning to remember everything from the night of his family’s massacre. First Kyle survived being shot in the head, then he healed at a miraculously fast rate, and now he’s remembering everything leading up to the moment a bullet went through his brain. I’m beginning to suspect that Kyle is part magic. Maybe this military school is the American version of Hogwarts. If that turns out to be the twist ending to this season, I take back every negative thing that I’ve written about The Killing so far.
Well, isn’t that a coincidence
Turns out that the head mistress of Kyle’s school was having an affair with Kyle’s dad. My theory that there are only 200 residents in The Killing‘s version of Seattle gains more validity with each episode.
So, apparently the headmistress, Jerkface McUntuckedShirt, and Crazy Eyes Aryan (a cadet who has been acting like Kyle’s friend on-and-off) are involved in Kyle’s family massacre. Since there’s still one more episode to go, they could only have a cryptic discussion about their levels of culpability so that there can be a big twist reveal in the final episode.
SWEET DANCING JEHOVAH!
The Killing has topped itself in the creepy/disturbing vector. I can’t even bring myself to type out how disgusting one scene was except to say that it involves all of the new cadets being forced to “deface” pictures of their mothers via biological means. Please don’t ask me to explain anything beyond that. After watching that scene, I need a shower and the memory erasing flashy thing from Men in Black.
My thoughts on what the writers have turned The Killing into can best be summarized by the greatest response to idiocy.
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