If The Killing were an old time radio series, the tag for this episode would be, “Tune in next week to see if we can creep you out more than we did this week!”
I have to mention that I did not leave out any punctuation when I typed the title. The title of this episode drives me insane. “Dream” is an imperative directed at “baby” so there should be two commas in the title. This is the 187th piece of evidence that makes me think the season 4 head writer of The Killing got his/her screenwriting degree from University of Phoenix.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
Kyle and Joan Allen’s head mistress character bond even more… and it’s getting creepy, like when they end up waltzing around a ballroom after Kyle comes to her after he has a nightmare about his murdered baby sister. Things are getting uncomfortably weird between them.
Holder and Linden continue spinning their wheels trying to narrow down their pool of suspects and instead widen the pool of suspects. Surprise! They’re bad at their jobs. Oh, no wait, not “surprise” but rather “exactly what you’ve come to expect!”
This episode has cemented that I will never let my future son go to a military boarding school for any reason. The ways in which these boys physically and mentally torture each other is terrible and unsettling. Also, how frequently these boys switch alliances with each other reminds me of Gossip Girl – or it would if I’d ever watched that show.
Reddick’s informant tells him in Jive Talk 101 speak that Holder confessed to a murder in an NA meeting. This causes Reddick’s to turn his detective skills up to 11. He’s going to solve this solved case, dammit.
If there were a drinking game for The Killing, the solitary rule would be that any viewer who tries to apply logic to this show by asking why something illogical happens would have to drink. As with all good drinking games, a player would be hammered within the first 10 minutes of the game. Unlike most drinking games, trying to play The Killing’s drinking game for an hour would prove lethal.
Holder, coming down off a high and feeling edgy, tries to scare Jerkface McUntuckedShirt at the bus station by asking if the kid knows what will happen to him when he gets sent to prison and is gang raped. I absolutely agree that Holder would be less than pleasant while sobering up, but is no one – including Linden – going to say anything when Holder nearly assaults a minor in a crowded public space? Oh, crap! I just violated my own rules! I just applied logic to The Killing! Drink.
I doubt it
Kyle is forced to do push-ups in class for not paying attention in class after he sees a horrifying note from one of his classmates regarding his family’s massacre. He breaks down after a couple push-ups and lays facedown on the floor gasping and crying while his instructor yells at him. Especially given that the head mistress said in the first episode that Kyle would be released from all PT exercises, would a teacher really be this abusive to a mentally and physically traumatized student? Crap! I did it again! Another drink.
And coming out of left field:
After pouring over the case file, Reddick decided to question Skinner’s wife/widow about his sexual predilections, specifically if Skinner was into young girls. Skinner’s wife gets defensive and tells Reddick to question Linden since Linden tossed something into the lake in front of Skinner’s cabin. This sends Reddick into detective overdrive, and he has the lake in front of Skinner’s cabin dragged. Apparently, Seattle PD has so many resources that they can easily replace stolen/lost guns and drag any lake any detective has a hunch might contain evidence concerning a closed case. And just like that, Reddick and Seattle PD find Skinner’s body in the lake. There was no question or attempted application of logic here, just snarky commentary, which is good, because my liver could use a break.
Oh. My. God. Forget what I said earlier: grab a bottle and just start chugging to make what you’re about to read not pass into your longterm memory. The writers took the creepy adult-child angle they keep toying with to disturbing levels. Apparently, Kyle’s mother used to force him to touch her. That’s all I’m going to say because going into further detail would require that I give my soul a Silkwood-style scrub down. I officially dislike The Killing now, and that makes me sad because I really enjoyed this show during the first three seasons.
After that last paragraph, I can’t come up with anything clever to say to close out this article. So instead, here is an awesome video about good television writing to cheer us all up.
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