The Quest Episode 3: Step Aside, Wizard Man

The Challenge

Crio has led our Paladins to the home of the Hag of Pertwall.  She’s a gnarled crone who lives in a hut in the forest and, as Crio puts it, the collector who may have what the Paladins need to heal the Queen.  Paladin Bonnie mentions she wouldn’t want to invite the Hag home for Thanksgivingwhich is understandable.  The Hag tells them that the ingredients they seek are in the woods and will need to be earned.  Three will find none, and only one paladin will be able to find the necessary dragon’s tears to make the necessary potion.

All of the ingredients are behind a series of doorways, each with their own challenge.  There are more paladins than ingredients, so they’ll have to work quickly if they want to make it all the way through and get everything that’s needed.  The first set of doors are blocked by locks covered in tar; the paladins will need to scrape a layer of this off so they’re able to put the key they’ve been given in its keyhole.  While Andrew and Patrick breeze through this, other paladins aren’t as lucky – Jim and Bonnie struggle to get the tar off, while Christian manages to misplace his key1.  Bonnie tries to team up with Christian (searching for his key while he helps scrape off her lock) while there’s still a chance for either of them to escape seeing the fates, but Christian would rather half-ass the job than give Bonnie an advantage.  In the end, neither of them finishes in time, and both will be facing the fates along with Jim.

Meanwhile, the other paladins race through further sets of doors.  The second set requires them to cut through ropes with an “ogre’s tooth”, while the 3rd asks paladins to tunnel under it.  Patrick’s self-proclaimed “bubble butt” delays him as he needs to prevent himself from getting stuck underneath.  Much like the end of the American Gladiators Eliminator, the final challenge is simply bursting through the final gate.  Although competition was close, Paladin Andrew just beats Patrick in capturing the final element of the potion.  He alone works with the Hag of Pertwall2 to make the reviving potion for the Queen while the others watch.  After this is finished, the Paladins rush back to Castle Saenctum.

Bursting into the throne room, the paladins watch eagerly as Andrew gives the Queen the potion to see if it will work.  Surprisingly3, it does!  As the Queen is revived, the Vizier tries to take credit for everything, but Crio rightly points out it was the paladins who fixed this.  The Vizier shoos everyone away4 and they head back to the common room of the castle to rest.  Andrew is presented with the Mark of Wisdom for his efforts.

The paladins comfort Jim, who knows Shondo has his back, but realizes that his physical skills may put him at a disadvantage depending on the final challenge of the week.  Jasmine reiterates that she won’t vote for Christian if he’s unable to escape the judgement of the fates – he’s used up his goodwill with many players, so if he doesn’t save himself there may be no one willing to save him.  At dinner, Bonnie sings a song she has written about the quest and their journey to find who is the True Hero.  I do not like the song at all.  The other paladins like it5 and don’t seem to want Bonnie to go.  Of the three in the bottom this week, she seems to have the strongest chance of getting everyone’s vote to stay.

  1. Christian also gives the Quest version of “I’m not here to make friends” in an interview aside  
  2. who really overdoes it on the acting thing  
  3. not surprisingly at all  
  4. showing perfect nature documentary-style dominance by opening his cloak to appear larger  
  5. although in their defense, if I was without my cellphone for a few weeks and in a gigantic fantasy land, I’d probably resort to that too  

A Brief Word From Our Sponsors:

About Ben Smith 252 Articles
Ben has been writing about TV, music, and pop culture in some form or another since 2009, including stints at Mental Floss and Temporary Obsession. When not solving puzzles of some sort or consuming pop culture at a frightening pace, he can be found collecting shiny pieces of the internet at E-mail: