Asia Ray, who is still eight years old, has to dance and present at an award show while the alleged adults in her life argue about contracts and clearances on this week’s Raising Asia.
Shawn tries to get more involved in Asia’s whirlwind career, but ends up fighting with increasingly creepy manager Billy. Kristie tries to hold it together, but has to almost shut down production twice when our eight-year-old star dares to act like an eight-year-old. Kristie’s mom and sister try to stage an intervention, but that goes over like a lead balloon. “At the end of the day, I’m Raising Asia,” Kristie declares. And that’s how we got to this point. S. M. H.
Every time we see Shawn and Kristie talking about their roles as parents, we see Shawn making eggs. We are only four half-hour episodes into the series and I think Asia’s cholesterol may be dangerously high.
After Kristie returns home from a less-than-pleasant lunch with her sister Gina, Asia and Bella start to perform a song-and-dance they made up. It goes fine for about two seconds until Kristie realizes the song hasn’t been copyrighted, and WHAT ABOUT CLEARANCES?!?! Kristie tries to shut down production and lectures the producer.
Shawn and Billy meet for lunch to discuss Asia’s representation. Shawn asks to see the contract, but Billy tells him to talk to Kristie. The whole scene turns into a Theater 100 lesson about conflict and changing levels to show dominance. Shawn says he’s trying to do his research, but yeah, maybe check to see what paperwork you have before instigating? Billy’s no saint either—there’s no need for him to be evasive if everything is on the up-and-up.
The professionals working with Asia are not great at their jobs. One choreographer, Anthony, comes from the Tyra Banks/ANTM’s Jade school of working the room, where one is expected to be the draggiest drag queen who ever dragged. When preparing for the Reality TV Awards (Asia was presenting), he thought the stage was going to be 20′ by 48′ instead of 20″ by 48″.1 He also had no regard for the floor and how it might be damaging to a dancer, particularly one who is eight years old.
The other choreographer spends his time shaming Asia for being great for an eight year old, but what is she going to do next year when she’s competing against nine-year-olds? That guy is an ass.
The Ray family has birds as pets. Maybe that’s why they eat so many eggs.
The other attempt at shutting down production came when Kristie tried to get Asia to wear a particular costume. Asia says she doesn’t want to wear it because A) SHE’S EIGHT, and B) the costume is too small. Kristie locks her in the bathroom and says filming will stop until Asia listens to her. Shawn pulls Kristie aside and tells her “there is nothing that’s ‘off-camera.'” I get the sense Kristie may not read what she signs if it involves any exposure for her daughter. That’s the sort of parent you want looking out for your best interests, right?
This Week’s Heartbreaking Quote from Bella
“Asia can’t do stuff with me because she’s always dancing.”
- Someone didn’t watch the Stonehenge sequence from This is Spinal Tap. ↵