Doing the Lord’s Work: Terrible Sex on Netflix

(Screen: complex.com)

“This seems like Waiting for Godot, with periodical sex breaks to keep the audience interested.”

We don’t cover movies here at WEIO, partially due to our interests as critics,1 partially due to a bad experience Mike once had,2 and mostly due to whatelseison.netflix not being a domain. Fortunately, though, you can quickly and easily learn what not to watch (and why!) thanks to the good folks over at Complex’s pop culture section:

The 20 Most Ludicrous Softcore Movies Streaming on Netflix Right Now

With gems like “Filmed like a weirdly sexual episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy, this very low-budget high-concept nightmare is riddled with echoing sound, cheap sets, and iMovie transitions. To say that it’s missing nudity would be to imply that there was anyone attractive in it.” I’m never going to watch one of these films. I am going to read every review. They even periodically revisit new non-worthwhile additions to the Netflix collection and update their slideshow as warranted, so as to warn the rest of us.

For being willing to shield the public from at best serious disappointment, five doubtlessly agonizing3 minutes at a time, you, Complex, a blog I had previously never heard of, are doing the Lord’s work. And we thank you.

  1. The cognoscenti must be choosey.  
  2. Nope, not gonna tell you what…  
  3. And not in, y’know, a sexy way.  

A Brief Word From Our Sponsors:

About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv