The Bachelorette Rules of the Rose Week 3: Ballin’ … and also Ballin’

The Portrait of Andi Dorfman, as seen on The Bachelorette.
The Bachelorette (Photo: David Moir / ABC)

This week on the Bachelorette, Bro-code was in full effect for two, TWO, nights of Andi and her suitors.

First the troup heads to Santa Barbara (an hour and a half from their Los Angeles abode) for a bit of a sing-off hosted by Boys II Men, that’s right of Motownphilly fame.  Then we’re on to exotic New England, which IS lovely and beautiful, especially in the winter, but these guys act like they’ve never seen snow!  Here at the Mohegan Sun Casino and Resort in Connecticut the guys get to play basketball with WNBA Stars and scale tall buildings…until tragedy strikes.  At the end of the two-parter Ryan makes a play for Andi’s ‘affections’ by politely explaining why he’s not quite sure he was prepared for the show of all dating shows.  He calls it and her fake in the gentlest of tones before exiting.  Sadly, weeks later Ryan Hill died in a paragliding accident outside of his hometown and it’s genuinely sweet that the Bachelorette doesn’t show us the Rose Ceremony, but instead a kind tribute to this man from Andi and Chris Harrison.  She explains that she would have enjoyed his candor at her ‘Men Tell All’ episode, and we would have too.

Yet, the show must go on, and to make it to the Final Rose these gentlemen must adhere to the Rules:

Do have rhythm, I don’t know if the crowd shots were pulled from a different song but there’s no song that went to the beat of what most of the bachelors were bobbing their heads to.

Do match your date, color code.  Andi and her fave of the day Cody are in matching pinks.  Cody for the win.

Don’t think it’s too early to makeout.  Andi gives a great speech about giving the rose to someone who opened up to her, right, opened his mouth, because Josh certainly didn’t say much in between their kisses but that Rose was easily his.

Do leave if you have to. It’s really ok.  Ron packs his things after finding out a close friend passes away and he wants to be at home. 

 

Don’t get a server, or anyone’s,  number during the show, Andrew. And especially don’t just walk away when confronted.  Luckily Andrew tells us he gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, ‘nerds, dorks…’  Andi this is not who you want to father your children.

Do age gracefully, JJ and Andi dress up and don some makeup to transform into an elderly couple for the day.

Do  play with balls. Their team name is The Rosebuds. I can’t. And the self appointed five of hearts.

Don’t think you’re immediately going on exotic vacations as the Bachelorette jets off to charming New England.

Do say something.   All day Andi’s wanted Dylan to say something and when he finally does he lets it flow, about his brothers death and being away from his family and she admits she’s never felt so moved.  Let it out guys. Let. It. Out.

Do put on your boogie shoes, there will inevitably be a concert.  You will be expected to dance.

Do hand write it.  

Don’t forget to laugh.  Marquell makes Andi laugh and she loves it.  I’m sure it’s the music and the brilliant editor who cuts this show, but it’s often way too deep, so if everyone else is laying it on thick, stick to the lighter side and keep getting roses until the final four.

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About Sandra Smith 98 Articles
Sandra Smith is a graduate of Northwestern and Syracuse Universities where she wrote and studied and wrote. She currently earns her keep working on a variety of your favorite reality shows for HGTV, TLC, Discovery Channel, MTV and FUSE and dreaming of creating the next Law & Order. E-mail: sandra@whatelseison.tv
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  • Clare Snyder

    His name is Eric, not Ryan