RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: Drag My Wedding

You betta Sissy That Drag Wedding
RuPaul's Drag Race (Photo: Logo)

On RuPaul’s Drag Race, it’s a nice day for a drag wedding. Who will be the prettiest princess?

The queens come back to the Werkroom after Trinity’s elimination. Adore is freaking out a bit and needs to step up her game. She is so pretty, though. That face. Seriously. They congratulate Courtney on her win, and she is getting more competitive now that we’re nearing the end. Hopefully “competitive” doesn’t just mean “shady,” Roxxxy Andrews-style. Bianca calls her a sad-bird Eva Peron, which makes me snort-laugh. Calling it right now: if Bianca doesn’t win this shit, I will officially declare shenanigans.

The next day, the girls are talking about what challenges are left. This leads to Courtney talking about the time she was a magician’s assistant and her right testicle popped out during the act. Miss Crème is like “why do you have a rat testicle?” Oh, those wacky Aussies and their strange diphthongs!

SheMail! And it is clearly wedding-themed. Ru enters the Werkroom wearing an outfit that looks amazing on him, but looks terrible on the fat Italian men who wear the same thing out at nightclubs on the regular. He presents the mini-challenge: create an abstract painting for marriage equality. Of all the baffling mini-challenges we’ve seen this season, this one takes the [wedding] cake. The best part are all the art-related puns, like “shake your Monet-maker” and “Pic-ASS-o” and the horrifying “Georgia O’Queef.” Courtney is painted half gold, half purple, like some sort of godforsaken Minnesota Vikings fan, and that crap doesn’t fly with me (coughgoPackerscough). Bianca is able to bullshit the most interesting description of her “artwork” and is declared the winner.

For the main challenge this week, Ru will be officiating a wedding ceremony on the runway. He brings in the brides and lets Bianca decide which girl goes with each queen, and she does so very fairly. But wait, there’s more! The queens won’t be making over the brides. Oh, no, that would be too easy, and too “Drag U.” The grooms enter and surprise! They’re gonna be dragged out for the wedding! To their credit, most of the men look excited about this. The queens, however, do not.

Bianca smartly immediately asks for the couple’s input on his bride/groom’s (let’s just call him the broom, like in that horrific Sex and the City movie) look. Naturally, they want a dominant eye and a dominant lip. This is drag, for God’s sake. Joslyn is so perky and excited to be working on a wedding, since she is engaged. Her broom Brandon is a professional basketball player and is more than a little concerned about how his teammates will respond to all this. A lot of people might hate on Brandon for being nervous but I see where he’s coming from. The fact that he’s brave enough to try this at all shows that he’s not homophobic and obviously loves his woman enough to put up with being tucked and painted.

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About Clare Snyder 144 Articles

After writing for a few publications in college, Clare took an extended break to become a certified personal trainer, get huge blisters during marathons, and find a suitable triathlete/engineer to marry. In her spare time she partakes in many nerd hobbies including replaying Final Fantasy hundreds of times, cheering for the Green Bay Packers, and live-tweeting “Whodunnit?” One time Clare was given 43 hot sauce packets in a Taco Bell driveway. There is a strategy to it. E-mail: clare@whatelseison.tv

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