Every so often, a film comes along that changes a generation. In My Dreams is not one of those films.
Every so often, a film comes along that changes a generation. This is not one of those films. However, it does inspire a lot of snarky comments to imaginary friends who are not actually watching the movie with me. Now, you all are my imaginary friends. Come along with me on a journey to endure Katharine McPhee’s latest film project, In My Dreams.
Katharine McPhee (for brevity’s sake I will call her Karen throughout, because Smash is my anti-drug) is walking through a park blandly bitching to her friend that her restaurant isn’t getting any customers. “Nobody’s excited about it anymore,” she monotones without a trace of irony.
We are introduced to Mike Vogel (also known as “the hot guy from The Help”) who is walking through the same park with his mother, who is nagging him about working too much and not finding a wife. Gee, I wonder where this is going. They run into an impossibly perky woman named Lori Beth Wacker. Of course, she has two first names and a porny last name. She immediately hits on Mike and gets his business card. His character’s name is Nick, but I will never remember that.
Karen’s friend is nearly as bad an actress as Karen herself. It’s like a black hole of talent here, where none can escape.
Turns out Mike’s ex’s name is Jessa, which is so Mormon I can’t even. Anyway, Karen and Mike make wishes at exactly the same time in the same fountain. Their pennies land on top of each other in the fountain with the Lincoln heads making out. You cannot make this shit up, folks. It defies all laws of physics, especially since he threw his penny from the opposite end of the very tall fountain.
The new chef Mario arrives at the restaurant and he is a sexy and charming Italian man. He speaks only Italian at first, which Karen totally understands, but she is unable to come up with “I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you at the airport yesterday,” which is pretty simple. I think it’s “mi dispiace che non potevo incontrarti all’aeroporto ieri,” but my college Italian is rustier than Karen’s singing voice. Please correct me in the comments. Anyway, the point is Karen sucks at everything.
Mario is kind of an asshole, as it happens, throwing an Italian-style shit fit on a customer who wants extra garlic. He does that thing I hate about people who speak a foreign language in movies, which is immediately translating everything you say. Why not just say it in English in the first place? “Aspetta! Wait!” He sounds like a flashcard.
Mike and Karen each check their messages and have gotten multiple calls from potential love interests during the day. That never happened to me when I was single.
That night they have one of those mutual dreams about each other that gives away vague information about how to locate each other. You can tell it’s a dream because it’s kind of sepia toned and Karen has more than one facial expression. We also learn that Karen’s character’s name is Natalie, which yeah, who cares?