RuPaul’s Drag Race has branched out into musical theater, darling. If only Jinkx Monsoon were here!
The girls re-enter the Werkroom after Vivacious’s elimination. April vows to be better next week. Bianca continues to slay Gia, who seems to have a new BFF in Laganja. God help anyone who is within shouting distance of that pair.
The next day’s SheMail lists six musicals and everyone quickly figures out the main challenge is about musical theater. But first, the mini-challenge: a rousing game of “She-Male or Female?” Some of these pictures are impossible to determine. Chyna and Tan Mom look extremely manly, and Michelle Visage’s boobs just look…well, like Michelle Visage’s boobs. Miss Crème and Adore win the mini-challenge and are tasked with picking their casts for “Shade: The Rusical.” Courtney is more excited than when she got her first period. And not for the first time do I wish Jinkx Monsoon were here. Can you even imagine how flawless she would be in this challenge?
Miss Crème picks Courtney Act first, because Mama didn’t raise no fool; then picks Bianca, Darienne, Gia and is stuck with Trinity. Adore chooses Milk, Laganja, Joslyn and April. The teams seem fairly even, although I would rather be on Adore’s team because there are fewer stank-ass bitches on it.
Miss Crème casts Courtney as Penny the ingénue, which of course. Trinity decides to be a pageant queen and “play it safe.” Christ almighty. They have a sing-through and Adore and Courtney are clearly trying to scare the crap out of each other, vocally. Adore has a better voice, but I see Courtney as more naturally theatrical. This oughta be good.
Adore is playing Bad Penny, and it’s the part she was born to play. April wants to be the “big girl” and thinks padding will take care of it. Girl, you better have some sass to go with it. Meanwhile, on Team Crème, Gia and Darienne are rehearsing their comedy queen roles and we discover that Gia has the voice of a tone-deaf, helium-infused foghorn. Hey, if Karen Cartwright can become a star, anyone can.
Ru enters the Werkroom and speaks to Team Crème. Courtney shows off her whistle register, and I’ll be damned if she can’t sing about two octaves higher than me. Trinity boringly says she will try her best. If “boringly” wasn’t a word before, it is now. What amazes me about Trinity is that she wants to be Beyonce, but she has zero confidence in her singing and dancing ability, which is basically everything Beyonce has and is. I don’t know if we’ve ever before seen a queen with such a large disconnect between who she is and who she thinks she is.
When Ru visits Team Adore, he tells her to have confidence in her abilities and be prepared for the role. Joslyn is the butch queen, and will be drawing inspiration from Bianca Del Rio. That Joslyn is one to watch, y’all. She is hilarious, and far smarter than advertised. The editing tries to make it look like Bianca hates that comment, but she has since confirmed on Twitter that she loved it, so there you go. Let it be known that Bianca Del Rio has a sense of humor and can take a joke! Ru gathers both teams together and announces that the runway look will be Tony awards glamour, and advises them to not f*** it up.