The Walking Dead ups the ante with temporary-home invasion, a pink suicide bedroom, and one spectacular mullet.
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
“Crazy Cheese?” What’s the matter, Easy Cheese wouldn’t lend their name to this show? I guess AMC didn’t want to pay “Easy Cheese money.” Also, Michonne drinks soy milk but is willing to eat spray cheese? This is baffling.
The “shhhh, Mae Mae’s sleeping” sign on the Death Bedroom door is both terrifying and hilarious. It seems unlikely that people on the verge of mass suicide would be thinking “hey, let’s put an ironic sign on the door, just for the LOLz!”
Apparently Goldilocks McPickyMan wanted that specific bed so much that he would choke-hold and nearly murder his friend to get it. This should not be a top priority.
Michonne made the wise decision to find a new shirt. I wish Rick would do the same. His usual button-down shirt is undoubtedly smelly and completely ripped apart.
How did this mob of loud, obnoxious douchebags manage to even get to Rick’s house without being spotted or heard by Michonne and Carl? Also, I wish Rick would have just found a good hiding spot in the house and stayed there instead of running around and poking his head around blind corners with no common sense.
Abraham is a starry-eyed optimist about his ability to get Eugene to Washington D.C., but he very pessimistically thinks he knows that Maggie is dead. That’s just rude.
Rick would never sleep without a weapon. Never. Even in his prison cell he kept a gun and/or knife within arm’s reach. Why he would choose to take a nap, alone in the house, totally unarmed is a mystery.
I am not an expert on human decomposition, but I’m pretty sure that dead bodies with a window open in Georgia’s heat and humidity would not mummify, but would liquefy and be eaten by maggots and bacteria within a matter of months. Not to be gross, or anything, but come on. Those people looked like King Tutankhamun.
While Rick is running around the house like a chicken with his head cut off, the invaders find Michonne’s freshly-washed shirt and discuss who will get first dibs on raping her when she returns. Good luck, dudes. She would turn you all into castrati before you could even get your pants down. I’m amazed that they underestimate the lethality of a woman who has survived this long in the zombie apocalypse.
Eugene the scientist has a mullet haircut. This defies reason and logic. I have never met a mullet-wearer who even had a high school diploma, let alone a PhD. Cannot wait to see them explain that one!
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
Carl and Michonne go on a supply run and bond over her deceased son and a can of spray cheese. Meanwhile, Rick stays behind in the house, which is invaded by a group of classless vagabonds. He manages to escape and intercept Michonne and Carl, where they run off and find a sign for Terminus. Abraham, Rosita and Eugene encounter Eugene-caused car trouble and end up joining Glenn and Tara on a new mission: to find Maggie.